darnaguen: (badwolf)
We've lived apart for a week now, though we've been officially broken up for more than a month.

And this, I suppose, is the part where it starts to really sink in. Not surprising, considering we pretty much kept acting like a couple while we still lived under the same roof.

But yeah. I miss him.

As a romance we were pretty much a disaster from the beginning. We just never could click on that elusive level necessary for a romantic relationship to truly work, I guess, or were just fundamentally different enough in views and goals and ways to communicate. But while it's clear we're better off apart, it was five years' worth of valuable lessons for both of us, and in a way we were really good together too.

So yeah, I miss him. I miss his smell. His weird babblings. Curling up against him at night, or when watching tv-shows on the bed or the couch. The sound of the coffeemaker. Watching him play Skyrim or Tomb Raider and offering comments or advice, and talking about video games in bed before falling asleep. The Chinese food he cooked (fat chance of me bothering to cook for myself) and taught me to appreciate. The sound of him watching Top Gear in the other room. Him calling me "kultapallo" exasperatedly. Just... him.

I mean, I haven't lost him or anything, he's still in my life and lives a block away and our breakup was pretty damn easy and friendly, so far at least.
But it's just different now and I have to get used to the new rules, and that's confusing (first breakup at 27, fuck yeah). I must admit I kinda hoped we might maintain a more casual relationship, still seeing each other and visiting each other to watch movies and stuff and cooking together etc.. But he might want to take a little distance, and I understand that, really. So I must suck it up and learn to be on my own. I really don't want to be some clingy ex stereotype. :p
But loneliness is s tough bite to chew for a pack animal, so to speak.

(This has also made me ponder on some deep shit about relationships in general, about whether I'm even capable of a so-called normal romantic relationships. I don't think I've ever actually been in love, and "normal" courtship rituals just baffle me, and my views of an ideal relationship are probably a little unconventional. So... foreveralone.gif :p)
darnaguen: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] joakimb esitti kysymyksiä, joten pitäähän niihin vastata:

1. Paras asia Turussa?

Tuhannen vuotta kulttuuria ja historiaa. Näillä kukkuloilla ovat palaneet merkkitulet merentakaisia vainolaisia vastaan, tätä jokea ylös ovat purjehtineet viikinkiveneet ja hansakauppiaat (vaikkei Turku koskaan Hansakaupunki ollutkaan). Näissä tammilehdoissa Ruotsin aateliset metsästivät ja huvittelivat, näillä turuilla ja toreilla on pidetty markkinoita ja tuomittu noitia. Näillä rannoilla on kohonnut kaksi komeaa keskiaikaista linnaa, joista toinen (Pohjoismaiden suurin harmaakivilinna) on yhä pystyssä. Tämä kaupunki oli aikoinaan Ruotsin valtakunnan toiseksi suurin ja merkittävin, täällä loisti hetken aikaa oikea mannermainen renessanssihovi, ja tänne Turun akatemian vapaaseen ilmapiiriin etsiytyi 1600- ja 1700-luvuilla joukko nykyään maailmankuuluja tiedemiehiä (Lexell, Kalm, Chydenius, Dahl, Gadolin...). Pitäköön siis Helsinki pääkaupungin asemansa. ;p
Plus Turun kesä.

2. Paras Tohtori tai paras jakso/storyline Tohtori Kenessä?

Gaah. En osaa vastata jos lähden ajattelemaan asiaa liikaa, joten sanon että rebootin ykköskauden Bad Wolf -storylinessa on jotain hyvin viehättävää.

3. Jos olisit eläin, mikä eläin olisit?

Susi on se ilmiselvä vastaus, mutta lienee minussa myös vähintään ripaus ilvestä.

4. Mikä on parasta elämässä, juuri nyt?

Kesä. On vain niin paljon vapaampi ja energisempi olo kun valoa riittää eikä kylmyys rajoita. Ja ihmiset ovat iloisempia ja aktiivisempia.

5. Mikä olisi parasta elämässä?

Olla niin vapaa ja onnellinen kuin mahdollista. Tehdä rakastamiaan asioita rakastamiensa ihmisten parissa rakastamissaan paikoissa.

6. Paras Supersankari?

Ei tuollaista sovi kysyä vanhalta X-Men -fanilta. :D Mutta jos ihan yksittäisestä sankarista puhutaan (siis sellaisesta jonka voi erottaa erinäisistä ryhmistään ja toimii ihan sellaisenaankin), olen alkanut lämmetä Iron Manille. Syytän RDJ:tä. :p

7. Mitä haluat? Kuka olet? (tarkoitettu luettavaksi B5-moodissa)

Häpeäkseni täytyy tunnustaa että olen lähestulkoon täysi B5-ummikko, joten en osaa vastata kysymykseen. :( Help?


---

Jos sitä myöhemmin saisi aikaan entryä muista viimeaikaisista pohdinnoistaan. Ja kommentoimalla saa tosiaan kysymyksiä.
darnaguen: (Default)
Edellisessä merkinnässä purin pre-game ahdistusta juurikin tämän pelin tiimoilta, mutta sain sen onneksi aisoihin ja olin lopulta jopa ihan tyytyväinen proppeihini (joskin toinen pitkähihainen ja toiset sukat olisivat märässä kevättalven maastossa olleet hyvä ajatus).

- Hahmoni oli hyvä hahmo, vaikkakin hiukan accidental typecast: kovapintainen, kunniallinen naissoturi (ilmeisesti ollaan viime aikoina siirrytty puunhalaajahipeistä tähän) jolla oli sisäisiä motivaatioristiriitoja ja vähän oma polku hukassa.
Kampanjan luonteen (tietyt arkkityypit/"jumaluudet" syntyvät aina uudelleen ja sotkeentuvat toistensa kohtaloihin) vuoksi kuitenkin tunsin ei-kampanjahahmon pelaajana oloni melko lailla statistiksi sekä hahmona että pelaajana kun toiminta alkoi toden teolla ja arkkityypit alkoivat tunnistaa toistensa inkarnaatioita. Ryhmääni kuului minun ja kahden palvelijahahmon lisäksi arkkityypeistä käsittääkseni Valta, Valo ja Tieto, joten hahmo oli hiukan pallo hukassa kun nämä alkoivat huidella ympäriinsä tekemässä hahmoni näkökulmasta käsittämättömiä asioita etenkin kun kukaan ei kertonut tälle mitä hittoa on tekeillä. 
Vaikka tällä kertaa toisin kuin yleensä en jäänytkään katumaan moniakaan asioita joita olisin halunnut tehdä toisin pelin aikana (olin itse asiassa mielestäni hyvinkin uskollinen hahmon luonteelle, tavoitteille, näkemyksille ja motiiveille - ainoastaan se hiukan jäi kaihertamaan ettei harras mitralaiseni mennyt jututtamaan papistoa), sen sijaan hahmon pelinjälkeinen kohtalo ei ole jäänyt kaihertamaan mieltä tällä tavalla pitkiin aikoihin. I want to believe in a happy ending!
Tajusin myös, että omassa elämässäni on tarpeeksi draamaa, angstia ja ahdistusta jotta haluaisin kokea sitä isoja annoksia myös todellisuuspakoisessa harrastuksessani. Seuraavaksi olisi kiva saada jotain Caleionin Triancen kaltaista - peruspositiivista ja iloista hahmoa jolla ei ole suurempia synkkiä salaisuuksia tai karmeaa taustaa tai mitään sellaista.

- Osin edellämainituista syistä tunsin ei mitenkään yllättäen oloni myös enemmään kuin hiukkasen ulkopuoliseksi pregameilla ja etenkin aftereilla kun en voinut oikein purkaa peliä kenenkään kanssa kun tuntui ettei hahmoni tekemisillä tai tekemättä jättämisillä ollut minkään valtakunnan merkitystä minkään kannalta. Olisin esim. ehkä halunnut puida vastapelaajan kanssa hahmojen suhteen tulevaisuutta, mutta se tuntui jotenkin tyhmältä ja turhalta (mitäpä jumalten kuninkaan inkarnaatio tavallisessa kerransyntyvässä kuolevaisessa näkisikään pidemmän päälle jne.).
Lisäksi huomasin taas tulevani enimmäkseen paremmin juttuun miesten kuin naisten kanssa. Miehet keskimäärin ovat vaan niin paljon... noh, helpompia. Helpompia lukea ja ennakoida ja sanovat yleensä suoraan mitä ajattelevat. En nyt tarkoita sanoa että kaikki naiset ovat koko ajan hankalia stereotypiakimppuja jotka eivät ikinä sano mitä oikeasti ajattelevat tai mitään sellaista, nyt vain kun olen oppinut ymmärtämään paremmin todennäköisiä Asperger -ominaisuuksiani (seriously, selittäisi NIIN paljon, mutta siitä lisää myöhemmin), olen tajunnut että suuri osa sosiaalisesta ahdistuksestani johtuu siitä, että saan ihmisistä niin ristiriitaisia signaaleita että "ylikuormitun" yrittäessäni hahmottaa kokonaiskuvaa (kehonkieli/henkilöstä huokuva yleisfiilis ei ollenkaan vastaa sitä mitä suusta tulee = major confusion, etenkin kun sosiaaliset normit edellyttävät etten kyseenalaista sanoja tai lähde muuten kaivelemaan totuutta esille). Ja ikävä sanoa näin, mutta mitä "perinteisempi" naishenkilö on kyseessä, sen vaikeampaa minulle on kommunikoida toimivasti hänen kanssaan koska en itse handlaa sitä ääneenlausumatonta koodistoa ollenkaan (tai paljolti muitakaan ääneenlausumattomia koodistoja, kirjoittamattomat säännöt ovat ehkä pahinta mitä tiedän). Surullista on myös tajuta, että ystävystyminen on tästä syystä tosi vaikeaa ja vaatii paljon kärsivällisyyttä toiselta (olen oikeasti kaverina kiva ja lojaali ja antelias, give me a chance guys?)

- Juominen on hyvä juttu. Mieluiten sellaisten asioiden juominen jotka eivät sisällä alkoholia. Etenkään saunassa tai kun ei ole syönyt tarpeeksi. Tai molempia. Pitäisi muutenkin vaan suosiolla jättää alkoholi kokonaan pois, kun se ei muutenkaan ole millään lailla oleellinen osa elämääni ja kehoni kun ei muitakaan mömmöjä (makeutusaineet, kofeiini, lääkkeet...) oikein osaa käsitellä. (edit: Huom, join siis puolikkaan siiderin ja yhden Breezerin) Etenkään nestehukkaisena. Tyhmä tyttö kun ei vieläkään tajua nesteytyksen tärkeyttä. Tai tajuaa, muttei muista. Miten voi unohtaa syödä ja juoda kunnolla, senkin jälkeen kun on seurauksena käynyt pari kertaa jo sairaalassakin? Ja muutenkin vihaa pahoinvoimista. Ehkä tällekin ongelmalle löytyy selitys ja ehkä jopa ratkaisu neurologilla.

- Parisuhteeni taitaa olla aika helkkarin hataralla pohjalla tällä hetkellä.
darnaguen: (Default)
Tell me, why do I larp again, when I know I get anxious and control-freaky about everything and focus way too much on insignificant costuming stuff and in the process fail to absorb the materials as well as I should (why yes, larping in Finland is srs bsns)?
And that I'll probably also feel like an outsider off-game and instead of the wild drinking that usually happens pre- and after-game, just want to have quiet, deep conversation with someone in the corner - but my go-to people for that won't be present.

I’m paying 20€ for something that should be fun and relaxing break from reality, but instead brings me panic attacks and general anxiety.

Why couldn’t I just sit this one out?

(I promise I'll write more about what's been going on in my life lately (not very much, but some of that important) soon, I just needed to get this off my chest right now, and it was a good excuse to activate this thing that has been gathering dust for way too long.)
darnaguen: (storm)
I posted this same thing a couple of years ago, but it's so awesome it bears repeating:

To celebrate the (100th, wow) International Women's Day, I wanted to share this with all of you ladies (and well, why not gentlemen as well) out there. Sydney, Buffy, Veronica, Kara and Zoë show us how it's done. ♥

For those who can't be bothered to download it (which I would recommend, as the quality is infinitely better), here's the YouTube version:

darnaguen: (storm)
 Because I have nothing else to do at the moment (except study for the Art History exam, but shh!), I might as well continue talking to myself in the form of a running BSG commentary just to get it out of my system.

2x10 (Pegasus) - 2x12 (Resurrection Ship pt. II) )

I'll probably come back to add something I forgot to say later, but I guess it's all here for now.
Also, I guess it's time to make BSG its own "fandom:" tag.
darnaguen: (Default)
 Ugh, I've had too much sugar so I'm all headachey and unfocused at the moment.

But yeah, thought I'd write down some thoughts on TV I've been watching lately. I'll try to avoid any big spoilers, but be warned in any case if for example like me you're embarrassingly late on the bandwagon with BSG. But anyway:

---

- Battlestar Galactica. I'm like six years late with this mostly because when something is hyped up to heavens I tend to get annoyed and start avoiding it on principle. Childish, I know, but damn, that hype has been driving me crazy. :p
Anyway, the boy had Caprica so I watched it with him out of curiosity (not really worth it, btw, unless you really want to learn that Cylons were basically created by a crazy, annoying religiously fanatical teenage girl, and that Adama's family background is like the Greek mafia. I was impressed by the family likeness though, so casting's good in that department.) so it was sort of natural to follow it with BSG, especially since I pretty much had nothing else to watch while waiting for Being Human's return.

And it is good, I'll give you that. It's also one of those shows that should come with a warning label: "CAUTION: This will break your heart and drive you crazy." I've only watched up to 2x07 but I already know it's going to stomp gleefully all over my heart. I thought I could watch it as kind of idle quality entertainment and distraction from BH but damn, they managed to get me invested by hitting me in my weak spot. Damn you, Katee Sackhoff and Jamie Bamber.

Semi-shippy mini rant. Ugh, I'm such a girl. )

Okay, that ended up being quite a mini-rant. O_o Better put it behind a cut, even though I suspect I could just as well be talking to myself because the problem with being late to bandwagon with something popular is that everyone else either has already discussed it to death and couldn't really talk to you about it without spoiling you somehow, or they haven't seen it and therefore don't give a damn/know what you're talking about. Oh well.

---

- Anyway, 6 episodes in I'm still not impressed with The Pacific. I mean, I completely realize it's supposed to be different than Band of Brothers. But I think they tried too hard to take it to a different direction, structure-wise and in general. The flow of the episodes suffers from random cuts back to the States where Sledge or Basilone or someone is doing something, especially as there's like one random cut per episode that has nothing to do with the general plot of the episode in question. And while anyone would probably suffer in comparison to Winters as a central figure, Leckie is just not a very sympathetic main character. Of course war is hell, but he just whines and aggro-emos about everything constantly as if he has it worse than any of the other guys. Which he doesn't. Ugh.
It has impressive production values and is probably a very realistic portrayal of the WWII Pacific Theatre, but I can't just bring myself to care very much, which is sad.

---

- Being Human 3x02. Not as good as the season premiere, but that was to be expected. A very decent episode nonetheless, even though some things confused me a little continuity-wise. Namely the prospect that vampires need blood for sustenance. I'm not sure if it was a genuine continuity error, a retcon (I hope not) or if it was just handled not that well. I can understand how Adam would think that, and even Nina and George, but it was quite clumsy if it was supposed to be just that.
I really loved how Nina took control of the situation and didn't allow Adam or the Hargreaves to scare or bully her. She'll be a great mother, and she's been a good influence to George as well. Unfortunately that's probably gonna mean that the house will grow more and more divided into two parties with Mitchell brooding around and being conflicted and secretive and Annie, bless her soul, probably sticking with him through it all.
And that's another thing: I love Mitchell and Annie's dynamic, I do. But this episode showed exactly why Lia's little matchmaking was a bad thing. Annie's acting like a clingy schoolgirl with a crush, which confuses Mitchell and is probably making him want to take a little distance. I mean, I completely understand why she's doing that: she's traumatized and in denial and clings to him because he was the one who saved her. And she has probably always lived for others, not valued herself enough and been a bit of an easily manipulated pushover. Which is why she's now dead. And which is why I'm worried. Ugh, this show. I really hope Mitchell will put an end to it if she starts acting all Stepford wife when they get together. Preferably even before that. I realize he (and Nina and George) is all she has in her life, but really.

---

And that's it for now, I guess. Expect that rec post at some point soon, and again, I'm interested in hearing your comments and opinions. :)
darnaguen: (being human)
 Okay, so. The big epic Being Human post. Since we're getting a new episode tomorrow I'd better do it now or I'll never get around to do it.

Where to even start?
It's back and it's glorious and after the gloomy and uneven second series and the long, long break it's so wonderful to see it's back in top form. Because at its best, Being Human is probably the best thing on TV lately. The quality of writing and acting, the sense of realism despite the supernatural themes, the inspired music choices (Girlfriend In A Coma? Genius!)...

I mean, I realize it's not for everyone. Some people want complete polished escapism from their TV shows, and Being Human is sometimes brutally real, shoving in your face very real issues and situations, and the characters are sometimes morons and do ugly things (and I mean in a REAL way, not in a sitcom way) because that's what being human is sometimes.

That's also why I'm bit iffy on the Syfy remake. I just feel it's unnecessary and I'm afraid it's not going to be able to get the point across as well. For example, the main trio all look like underwear models. Even George Josh. (Yeah, I know, I know. Anything else just wouldn't be profitable in the US and all that.) And from the clips I've seen, the chemistry just isn't there and none of them comes across as particularly likable.

Aidan just seems to be channeling Edward Cullen (or maybe Bill Compton), while Mitchell's whole point is that he's this huge happy-go-lucky Irish dork who looks after his friends and invites the whole neighborhood for tea and wears yellow and coos at babies, but then he's also a volatile, vicious blood addict who can slaughter that same neighborhood in a blink of an eye if you piss him off too badly.
I don't sense that kind of layers in Aidan. (Aidan the Syfy vampire, that is. Aidan Turner certainly has them.)

And Sally is whiny and self-absorbed and Josh's "awkward" behaviour is completely unrealistic and let's leave it at that. :p

-------

"Thank goodness for Terry Pratchett." )

So, agree? Disagree? Did I forget something essential? I'm sure I did. Let's discuss!

Oh, I also have some fanfic recs (from the whole show) and songs I keep associating with certain characters and relationships and that I would vid if I knew how, but I think I'll make a separate post for them, this is already huge.
darnaguen: (Default)
- Reply to this post with ICON ME! and I will pick five of your icons.
- Make a post (including this info) and talk about the icons I chose.
- Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
- This will create a never ending cycle of icon glee


[livejournal.com profile] canadiangoddess  picked these:




This is The Morrígan. The Great Queen (or "The Phantom Queen", etymologists are still arguing over that one), an ancient Irish goddess of passion, battlefields and sovereignty, to put it simply. I was born on Samhain, 31st of October, which is kind of her day because of that connection to the Underworld. So in a weird way she's always felt close to me even though I'm not exactly a practicing pagan. I just remember how I felt in Ireland when I saw all those crows flying around. Felt right, somehow.
The Irish Gaelic phrase in the icon means something like "Of Morrígan of graves and tombs."




And then this. Éire. Ireland. My spiritual home in some funny, unexplainable way. I miss it.




Mitchell says this in an episode of Being Human, in a kind of hilarious, nonchalant way. Like "Yeah, we're bastards, how is that anything new?" which was such a refreshing look at it in the middle of the whole Twilight-induced vampire hysteria. And even though I've loved vampires ever since I've known how to read, it's just true, and with all these vampire shows and films and books around nowadays, it's a nice, funny reminder.




Oh, Jack and Elizabeth. My doomed, awesome, freedom-loving OTP. I'm pretty much over the whole thing now, but freedom is still a very important thing to me and that's one of the main reasons why I loved them. To freedom!




This is Calico Jack Rackham's flag, only one variation of the Jolly Roger among many but probably the most iconic in its simplicity.
Because Calico Jack was a drunk, rascally dandy who sailed with fierce lady pirates, I'm still a bit bitter that they didn't make it Jack's or even the Black Pearl's flag in POTC, but specifically Barbossa's. Oh well. ;p

----------------------

There you have 'em, next I'm gonna watch some ice dancing and cheer for the Kerrs and then try to put my thoughts on Being Human together. Laters!
darnaguen: (Default)
 Oh, hey, new friends! Welcome! *waves*

So, what's new?
My internship at the bookstore ended at the end of December. I did fine, apparently, but not good enough to land a job there. But in any case, it was a great experience and I learned a lot. Now I'm back in school and considering my options.
I applied for a summer job at the Museum Center and am keeping my fingers crossed. Showing people around the Turku Castle or something for living would be pretty awesome (though I'd probably be stuck at the reception or something. But still.)
But I probably need to get at least a part-time job till then because study books are expensive and being piss-poor is no fun anyway. At least Tommi has a job now, though I can tell it's making him a bit miserable.

The ideal situation would be getting a job from a bookstore because depending on whether or not my six months' internship counts, I could be a graduated librist in 2 to 2,5 years. That would be much more practical than taking the long road and going through school and maybe after ten years have a some kind of minor History degree.
I mean, history is my passion and right now the bi-weekly (is that a word?) Art History classes are what's keeping me going, but I realize it's not a practical dream, at least not right now. Ah well, that's life.

---

Ugh, I was supposed to talk about the new Being Human episode, but then I got distracted by Tommi watching Sons of Anarchy on the couch behind me, and then Primeval was unexpectedly on and I've wanted to check that out for a long time. 

Tomorrow, then.
darnaguen: (winters)
Seems like I'm only reporting deaths here lately, but I just learned that Major Richard Winters has apparently passed away.
If that doesn't mean anything to you... watch Band of Brothers.

I mean... I certainly don't think all soldiers are heroes. Far from it. Nor am I American, so it has nothing to do with patriotic hero worship.
But he was a hero. A real hero. A great leader and a man of honor. I know, it's an absurd concept to idolize someone who took lives and was good at it, but... yeah.



Rest in peace, Major.
darnaguen: (Default)
 I just heard someone from my past died yesterday. And I don't know how I should feel about it.

To clarify a little, he's the guy I'm talking about here.
So my first thought was "Good riddance." Then I realized I had tears streaming down my face. Yeah, complicated.
For all the crap he pulled, I did love him once. And he taught me a lot about myself, if indirectly.
I still think he could have chosen another path, that he still had hope when I met him. I wish he will in the next lifetime.

(Also funny: I had a strange, kind of wistful dream about him a few nights ago. Now I can't help but feeling it was a goodbye.)

Some people I know who knew him feel like celebrating. And I can't blame them. He caused a lot of damage.
To me as well. But still...

Run free, brother. I hope you will find the Moonlight Realm.

----

Kerran, kylmän keväisen kuutamon alla,
alla taivaan harmajan, hiljaisen,
kuljin kanssaan suomaalla vierahalla
sieluni toivetta etsien.

Ei kuu meille näyttänyt kasvojaan,
kuten tähdetkin, peittivät pilvet sen.
Me jäimme lammelle istumaan
aivan hiljaa, yötä kuunnellen.

Oli huurteessa metsä ja roudassa maa,
peitti jääriite soistuvan lammen pintaa;
vaan kaks' oli liekkiä palavaa
mi korvensi kahden yön lapsen rintaa.

Paloi veressä yö, kaipuu rinnassa soi,
vaisto vaati kutsua seuraamaan.
Vaan kutsuun ei kumpikaan vastata voi -
ihmisiä me olemme, orjia vaan.

Vapautta mi hain, sitä löytänyt en,
rauhaa sydämeeni en löytänyt lain.
Vaan vääristyi olemus totuuden
ja itseni pahemmin kahlitsin vain.

On kaukana kuunvalon valtakunta,
sinne pääsenkö koskaan? Tiedä en.
Nukkuu vierelläin veljeni suden unta
-kenties vapauden polkuja kulkien...

-Spring 2004
darnaguen: (winters)
I think I'm starting to get a cabin fever from all this extra free time in my hands this week. So I obsess over things at random, latest obsession being Band of Brothers (HBO 2001).
I haven't watched it as I sadly do not have it in my possession (as soon as I have money again I'll order it from Play.com as a belated birthday present for myself, I swear), but somebody posted a BoB picspam on [livejournal.com profile] fandom_picspams a couple of days back and there I went again.
I've seen it two or three times now, but it's one of those films/series that actually benefits from multiple viewings as it has such a huge ensemble cast it's a bit difficult to keep track on who's who among the skinny, dark-haired white guys in nearly identical combat gear.
So when you watch it again and start to connect the names with the faces, you'll probably also find yourself going: "Wait a minute, is that...?" Yeah, it probably is.

Yup, the terrifying Speirs is none other than Matthew Settle from Gossip Girl (guess getting to play one of the baddest badasses of the 20th century is a once in a lifetime opportunity and after it you have to take what you get...). Yeah, that's Michael Fassbender hanging out in the background, smoking cigarettes and cracking jokes with his friends as Burton 'Pat' Christenson. Yes, it's Andrew-Lee Potts who gets brutally and unnecessarily killed in The Last Patrol. Jamie Bamber is the hapless German-American POW who gets offered some very fatal cigarettes (EDIT: Oops, sorry, no he isn't. He played Captain Jack Foley and that POW just looks way too much like him), and Tom Hardy is Janovec who is found humping some German floozy by Speirs. Marc Warren, Simon Pegg and James McAvoy also appear, as well as Jimmy Fallon. It's sick. :D

But anyway, I didn't even plan to babble about anything, I was just supposed to post this, because... well, it's amazing and Roe is ♥.



Oh, btw: I'm feeling a bit better now although I'm apparently anemic. Nothing some extra iron won't fix, though.
I still need to have an ultrasound scan and maybe some other examinations done, but I think I should be okay and can go back to work tomorrow.

ETA: Now that I think of it, maybe my little brother becoming the third reserve officer of my immediate family (this is the fourth generation) has something to do with this obsession. Only a little, though, probably. *shrug*
darnaguen: (being human)
Okay, I don't really have anything better to do at the moment, so...

Really, it's better than it sounds... )

EDIT: Aaaannddd... The rest would be:

1. The Abhorsen Trilogy (book series)
4. Hornblower (book/tv series)
5. Farscape.
10. True Blood.
11. Pride & Prejudice. Duh. ;p
darnaguen: (Default)
 I've spent the last three days at home on sick leave (well, on Monday I worked for three hours before I had to give up).
It's a welcome (and currently much needed) break even though I've really started to enjoy my job, but I can't help feeling guilty so I can't really relax.

And what's wrong with me? I don't really know. I've suspected for a while now everything isn't quite right with me physically, but a couple of weeks ago I was getting ready to run some errands, taking my time putting on make-up and all, when I suddenly felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest right above my left breast. At first I wasn't worried, that kind of stuff probably happens occasionally to everyone. But those stabs kept on coming and I started to get scared. So I called 112 and got visited by some nice paramedics. They didn't discover anything life-threatening but told me to get the day off anyway and go see a nurse. The nurse suspected gallstones and booked me a doctor's appointment just in case, advising me to watch what I eat a bit.

The next two weeks went by quite normally, with only some discomfort , occasional random "stabs" in my torso and a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right in my abdomen.
I went to see the doctor on Friday and had blood tests and ECG taken. Her initial suspicion was that there's something wrong with my diaphragm, which would explain as all the worst stuff is focused on the left side and the "stabs" are often worse when I inhale. I'll only get the test results tomorrow so I went to work on Monday despite having been in a lot of pain over the weekend, but like I said, I lasted only three hours before I started having difficulty breathing because of the pain.

Now, I suffer from anxiety disorder so it was probably just that, the pain and stress at not knowing what's going on having triggered it. But it has effectively rendered me unable to work, which really sucks. I know, it's not my fault and I'm not just shirking my duties. But... gah. We really need every cent we can get at the moment, and I'm not paid for the days I'm not working. So, as they say in the army... SNAFU. :p
I'm just so tired all the time now, and just want to know what's wrong with me so I can deal with it and move on. *sigh*

-----

Okay, to avoid being a complete Debbie Downer, there HAS been something positive lately as well.

1.) As I said, I think I'm starting to figure things out at the bookstore. The bosses have started to trust me more and give me more responsibility. Now if I only can sort these health problems out, I think I may have a chance at getting a real part-time job there. So yay. :)

2.) I finally got around to watching North & South (BBC 2004) completely. I'd seen a part or two of it years ago when they showed it on telly, but my memories were really fuzzy. Anyway, to those of you who don't know: it''s a four-part miniseries based on the book by Elizabeth Gaskell. Its premise is similar to Pride & Prejudice with all the pride and prejudice and misunderstandings before the lovers finally get together, but it's also a hella lot darker and grittier. The setting is mostly a smoky industrial town in Northern England in the 1850s, so the Austenian Regency lightness is absent. People also get beaten up and killed and whatnot left and right.
But the leads Richard Armitage (as John Thornton) and Daniela Denby-Ashe (as Margaret Hale) are really gorgeous and amazing and have a delicious BST going on. Here, have a look:



(that's gotta be the raciest Victorian handshake between people who claim to kinda dislike each other EVER :D)

And I'm not even going to talk about the ending because you have to see it for yourself. But if you want to discuss it in the comments, you are very welcome. ;)
I can't say this about many men, but Richard Armitage does funny things to my heart. *swoon* If/when someone ever deides to film Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, I will cry foul if anyone else is chosen to play the Raven King John Uskglass.

But anyway, if you haven't yet watched it and generally like pretty period dramas etc., do watch it. It also has a really pretty score. <3

3.) I ordered the first one of the Being Human tie-in novels from work and it was awesome. There were minor glitches like Mitchell snagging blood bags to snack on from the hospital and George being Annie's go-to guy when she needs comfort (okay, it does make more sense in the timeline of the second series), but otherwise the atmosphere was really authentic and it was great to have that little extra glimpse into their lives, with all the darkness and sweetness, humor and tragedy the show has. The three books form a single storyline despite having separate settings so of course I immediately had to order the next two as well. :D

-----

Okay, I guess that was it for now. Next time I'll answer your questions, [livejournal.com profile] liduen_loivissa . :)
Just one more thing before I go, just because this song is amazing. Spoiler alert, though:
darnaguen: (Default)

I'm putting this here since I don't have any other place for it right now. Some music for a future larp project.
darnaguen: (morrigan)
More videospamming, woohoo!
I just encountered my favourite vid maker's (and I don't say that lightly, she's good) YouTube account and decided to share her work.
You want sexy vampires? I'll show you sexy vampires!



Queen of the Damned is so underappreciated. And I say this as an Anne Rice fan.
All of Kristin's stuff available for download here.

---
/EDIT: Whoops, I accidentally posted a wrong video. I meant to post this. But no matter, they're all equally brilliant and sexy.
darnaguen: (smile)
This video makes me weirdly happy. That's all.




(Spoilers, obviously.)
darnaguen: (Default)
So much for the New Year's resolution, huh? Ugh, I suck.

I've been thinking, though. Maybe I would learn to write my thoughts down more often if I posted something at least once every week. A Top 5 list. I already have many thought out.
But I'm not gonna start today because first things first:

I finally managed to get around to watching SyFy's Alice.
For those of you who don't know, it's a modern cyberpunk/steampunk/magitek/psychedelia twist on Alice In Wonderland.

More thoughts under the cut. Some spoilers in the last paragraph. )
darnaguen: (being human)
My New Year's resolution, I suppose, could be: "Be more active on LJ."

I don't really even know why I haven't written anything since that latest whine about my love life in November(!!). I mean, there have been many times when I've had a whole post envisioned in my head but for some reason never got around to writing it down. You know what I mean?

But it's funny: I don't know if it's the New Year and a sort of feeling of a clean slate or what, but I have a feeling that something has changed, and I daresay in a positive way. Like I've managed to let go of some burden that has weighed heavy on my shoulders and held me back or something. Strange, really, 'cause I can't say what it is exactly.
Ah well, maybe it's just the slowly but surely increasing light. *shrug*

ETA: Oh, right. I was supposed to talk about the New Year. *facepalm* Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] korppis.
We spent it rather traditionally at Ella's family cabin in Laitila (this small rural town a bit north from Turku) by a frozen lake in the middle of the woods. Lots of awesome people, booze, SingStar, a wooden hot tub by the lake, full moon and -30 Celsius. :D
I really felt rather Finnish at one point, running from the cabin to the sauna in the snow and under the starlit sky with a bottle of alcoholic beverage in my hand, wearing only a long woolen jumper and combat boots. At least I didn't yell "Perkele!" as I went. :D It was awesome. <3

Oh! We also have a cat now. Riimu (means "rune"), Tommi's old cat, has been living with his sister for a couple of years, but now she has a boyfriend who's allergic so she decided to give her to us when we were visiting Tommi's parents over the holidays.
She's a lovely creature, especially when you compare her to the previous cat I had. It's nice to be able to walk past a cat lounging on the floor without having to fear for your ankles. xD But then, she's 7 years old already, a graceful lady and not a hotheaded teenager. Though we're considering getting her a playmate sometime soon, an orphan kitty rescued from the streets of Estonia probably. I'm determined to get my Romana. :D

(BTW, I just realized the ornament in my teaspoon resembles the Seal of Rassilon. O_o)

Being more active on LJ isn't the only thing I need to work on, though. The fourth episode of Cloud Islands is approaching and I have four characters to write. I know, it's only four, but I seem to suffer from a horrible writer's block lately. :( I mean, Ares'tes for example, I have a pretty clear vision of what he's like inside my head, but I just have no idea how to put that into words. The fact that I have to write the characters from pre-existing templates and be sure to get all the plots right makes it even harder. I guess I need to discuss that more with Ella and Janina. *sigh*

But hey: I thought I'd lost pretty much all interest towards LARP but now I'm actually looking forward to the WoD scenario in February. And Merirosvopoukama (The Pirate Cove) as well. :)

And I also need to contact Riku (my awesome career counselor) and get my backside back to the library since my only source of income at the moment is the housing allowance, which is some 56€. Yay...
And have the blood tests taken and remember to take my meds every day. This year, I will be better.

Oh, and one more thing: Being Human's second series starts on Sunday! <3<3<3

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