darnaguen: (Default)
 I've spent the last three days at home on sick leave (well, on Monday I worked for three hours before I had to give up).
It's a welcome (and currently much needed) break even though I've really started to enjoy my job, but I can't help feeling guilty so I can't really relax.

And what's wrong with me? I don't really know. I've suspected for a while now everything isn't quite right with me physically, but a couple of weeks ago I was getting ready to run some errands, taking my time putting on make-up and all, when I suddenly felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest right above my left breast. At first I wasn't worried, that kind of stuff probably happens occasionally to everyone. But those stabs kept on coming and I started to get scared. So I called 112 and got visited by some nice paramedics. They didn't discover anything life-threatening but told me to get the day off anyway and go see a nurse. The nurse suspected gallstones and booked me a doctor's appointment just in case, advising me to watch what I eat a bit.

The next two weeks went by quite normally, with only some discomfort , occasional random "stabs" in my torso and a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right in my abdomen.
I went to see the doctor on Friday and had blood tests and ECG taken. Her initial suspicion was that there's something wrong with my diaphragm, which would explain as all the worst stuff is focused on the left side and the "stabs" are often worse when I inhale. I'll only get the test results tomorrow so I went to work on Monday despite having been in a lot of pain over the weekend, but like I said, I lasted only three hours before I started having difficulty breathing because of the pain.

Now, I suffer from anxiety disorder so it was probably just that, the pain and stress at not knowing what's going on having triggered it. But it has effectively rendered me unable to work, which really sucks. I know, it's not my fault and I'm not just shirking my duties. But... gah. We really need every cent we can get at the moment, and I'm not paid for the days I'm not working. So, as they say in the army... SNAFU. :p
I'm just so tired all the time now, and just want to know what's wrong with me so I can deal with it and move on. *sigh*

-----

Okay, to avoid being a complete Debbie Downer, there HAS been something positive lately as well.

1.) As I said, I think I'm starting to figure things out at the bookstore. The bosses have started to trust me more and give me more responsibility. Now if I only can sort these health problems out, I think I may have a chance at getting a real part-time job there. So yay. :)

2.) I finally got around to watching North & South (BBC 2004) completely. I'd seen a part or two of it years ago when they showed it on telly, but my memories were really fuzzy. Anyway, to those of you who don't know: it''s a four-part miniseries based on the book by Elizabeth Gaskell. Its premise is similar to Pride & Prejudice with all the pride and prejudice and misunderstandings before the lovers finally get together, but it's also a hella lot darker and grittier. The setting is mostly a smoky industrial town in Northern England in the 1850s, so the Austenian Regency lightness is absent. People also get beaten up and killed and whatnot left and right.
But the leads Richard Armitage (as John Thornton) and Daniela Denby-Ashe (as Margaret Hale) are really gorgeous and amazing and have a delicious BST going on. Here, have a look:



(that's gotta be the raciest Victorian handshake between people who claim to kinda dislike each other EVER :D)

And I'm not even going to talk about the ending because you have to see it for yourself. But if you want to discuss it in the comments, you are very welcome. ;)
I can't say this about many men, but Richard Armitage does funny things to my heart. *swoon* If/when someone ever deides to film Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, I will cry foul if anyone else is chosen to play the Raven King John Uskglass.

But anyway, if you haven't yet watched it and generally like pretty period dramas etc., do watch it. It also has a really pretty score. <3

3.) I ordered the first one of the Being Human tie-in novels from work and it was awesome. There were minor glitches like Mitchell snagging blood bags to snack on from the hospital and George being Annie's go-to guy when she needs comfort (okay, it does make more sense in the timeline of the second series), but otherwise the atmosphere was really authentic and it was great to have that little extra glimpse into their lives, with all the darkness and sweetness, humor and tragedy the show has. The three books form a single storyline despite having separate settings so of course I immediately had to order the next two as well. :D

-----

Okay, I guess that was it for now. Next time I'll answer your questions, [livejournal.com profile] liduen_loivissa . :)
Just one more thing before I go, just because this song is amazing. Spoiler alert, though:
darnaguen: (smile)
Alright, I was going to write a big epic review-sort of post about tv shows I've been catching up with or rewatching lately -- and I probably still will because I have lot to say about them -- but I really need to get this off my chest, like, right now:

Doctor Who has taken over my brain.

Yeah. I know. Another fandom for Darna to obsess about.
But seriously. I wonder why I never thought to check it out before because it's wicked awesome.
Ab-so-lute-ly brilliant, in that distinctly British sort of way. I mean, it's probably not for everyone, obviously. But I daresay those unwilling to give it a chance are missing a lot.
Acting? Impeccable. Yes, including Billie Piper. You simply can't not love her as Rose. So perfectly well-rounded and human is her portrayal. As Jacob at Television Without Pity said, she's probably the only singer-turned-actor ever that turned out to be fucking brilliant at it.
Dialogue? Perfect. The one-liners are killer and the dialogue overall is very witty and natural and British. Of course it's sometimes over-the-top, but this is after all a cheesy -- albeit brilliant -- sci-fi show, and usually it's over-the-top only when the situation calls for it. Even with all the occasional darkness and deadly-serious undertones, it's still an old-fashioned fairytale at heart.

I could go on forever, but perhaps I'll spare you and let you discover the magic yourself if you are so inclined (and Ella, I'll get the first season on DVD and we'll watch it, okay?).
And those of you who already have discovered it, please do not spoil me beyond the first 2 episodes of the second season (I mean, there's no way I'd have been able to avoid some big, general spoilers because I'm three seasons behind everyone else, but no details if you please).

But it's like a drug, for real. I don't think any series/fandom has ever made me so positively giddy. I bought one of the tie-in books yesterday (it was on sale :p) and sat in the bus on my way back home and sniggered to myself like a madwoman while reading it. Seriously (and I'm paraphrasing):

The Doctor: Quick! We need to distract them somehow! Jack?
Captain Jack: Yes, sir! *takes off with a huge grin*
A moment passes. Then, accompanied by some surprised exclamations, they can see...
Captain Jack: Whoohoo! *runs naked through the crowd*
The Doctor and Rose: ...
Jack runs back to them with a shit-eating grin, still buck-naked.
Captain Jack: That distracting enough?
The Doctor and Rose: *facepalm*

But of course they secretly love it. And I love them. :D
And what's slightly scary in the drug metaphor is that it's also addictive. After each episode I watch I want more, but I also know that the more I watch now, the less I have left to watch. And I don't want it to ever be over. *clings to show and everything she loves about it, Nine and Ten and Rose and Jack and everything*

Alright, here's what we do. By the leave of my beloved future flatmate if she'll grant it, I extend the invitation to everyone reading this: when me and Ella have moved (yes, we got the apartment, but I'd rather not think about it much at the moment because my brain's a mess and there's still so much to work out) and we have a DVD player and a decent TV, you're all welcome to watch Doctor Who with me. I promise to not be too annoying, or at least try. ;p

I think I'm gonna go watch The Christmas Invasion now. David Tennant! <3
darnaguen: (deer)
The previous entry was so emo I even annoyed myself.
Ergo, it's gone. I shouldn't be allowed to make LJ entries in that kind of state.

But yeah, [livejournal.com profile] suomigoth: The Twilight series by Stepehenie Meyer is in essence about a quite normal girl who finds herself in love with a vampire. And then there are hot and funny Native American werewolves. There are three books out so far: Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse. They're pretty good, even though they frustrate the hell out of me sometimes. :p I think you might like them, though you probably wouldn't take "my side". ;)

Anyway... As if my life isn't strange enough as it is, a couple of odd but pretty interesting new things: firstly, for a couple of days now, I've had a really strong yearning for the Northwestern USA or North America in general. Oregon or Washington, or perhaps British Columbia in Canada. Those books may of course have an influence, as they take place in the Olympic Peninsula in Washington, but it can't be the whole explanation because I have a strong, almost physical need to be there in person. It has subsided somewhat from the day before yesterday, but I can still see these flashes of snow-covered mountains and vast, ancient coniferous forests in front of me sometimes. Very odd. Sometimes a private plane would come so handy.
Another interesting thing is that a girl from the NW forum, somewhat psychic/empathic herself, had a dream of me and another of the forum empaths walking with her in a beautiful forest by a river. Yeah, there's not necessarily anything epic or supernatural about it, but it's interesting nonetheless.

(After a quite a long pause) I just spent almost an hour on phone with my mother.
She's right, I must find a way to do something about my oversensitivity. It won't do to break down on regular basis like this, whenever something is too much for me on emotional level. How can I be of any aid to others when I'm a terrible mess myself?
So: I'll have to start eating and sleeping properly, taking walks in the woods, and most importantly finding myself a some sort of balancing routine and a way of meditating. I really hope there will be a Qigong course somewhere in Turku this spring, it would be the most ideal option.
darnaguen: (Default)
Augh, I hate PMS and everything related to it.
I've been really cranky for the last couple of days and today I've either been tremendously uncomfortable or in infernal agony. And really weepy.
In the morning I finished reading the previously mentioned Eclipse and cried a good half an hour if not even more (but then again, I probably would have cried anyway *sigh*), and while I was on the bus on my way to the downtown and my mp3 player played Creek Mary's Blood, I very nearly started crying again.

Sometimes I really hate feeling things so strongly, and my damn hormones aren't helping. When I'm like this, I can get so deeply affected by for example completely fictional stuff that it's very difficult for me to focus on anything else. Very annoying, and also makes my life unnecessarily difficult.
People keep telling me I should try meditating as it would help me build stronger "shields", but I don't know, I'm afraid I would be too restless for it to work, and unable to empty my head from thoughts. But as there won't be another Qigong course in six months or so, it's my only option at the moment. It can't go on like this.
Especially as I think I've lately become increasingly sensitive to everything. I'm more aware of changes in the atmosphere, energies between people and people's discomfort, even changes in weather affect me physically.

Also... It's kinda funny in some morbid way, but lately I've started to have this "before it's too late" or "soon it won't matter anymore anyway" kind of mentality. I've become almost ridiculously sure about something really huge and radical happening quite soon, in a few years perhaps. What's especially funny about it is that my older brother has such faith in the future, he believes the world can be saved with his science. In a way I wish I could believe it too, but on the other hand I believe this huge and radical thing will ultimately be a good thing, in the end, when the dust has settled.
I also believe my discomfort with this newborn year has something to do with that, especially as I found out I'm certainly not the only one who feels uncomfortable and even worried about 2008. Only time will tell, but I'll stay on my guard nevertheless, just in case.

*chuckle* I know what I wrote may sound to a normal, rational person like ramblings of a mad person, but... remind me to tell you I told you so. *wry smile*
darnaguen: (f/e)
Mmh, during the past week or so I've had so much going on in my head I've been dying to write down but haven't had time, strength or possibility to do so due to a) spending the Christmas at my mom's place b) falling once again mysteriously ill (another of those strange and unexplainable muscle cramp spells plus a high fever, this time I even had to spend some time at the medical center under surveillance, oh joy) c) probably as an after-effect of said illness, being generally lethargic and tired.

But anyway. Rant time.
I bought the second book of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, New Moon, for myself as a Christmas present and realized something a bit surprising while reading it. In case there's someone who wants to read it and hasn't yet reading this, I'll put the spoilery parts under a cut.

Beauty and the Beasts )

But yes, what I actually realized was that I once again rebelled against the canon "main couple" and rooted for the underdog. When I started to think about it, I do that quite a lot.
It's actually very rarely that I support "the good ship" if there is an interesting alternative available.

Let's see...
Arwen and Aragorn? Boring! Éowyn and Faramir all the way.
One of the biggest faults of the otherwise brilliant movie trilogy was what they did to Faramir, including his beautiful romance with Éowyn which actually is the only visible romance there is in the book. They walk together in the garden and on the city walls, they talk, they confess to each other their dreams and fears, they even banter. What's not to love?

Jean and Scott? Well, pretty much anything involving good ol' Slim is enough to bore anyone into tears.
Plus, while I know perfectly well that by a long run the whole idea of Jean and Logan is completely absurd, his undying, unrequited love and devotion for her is something truly amazing. But well, my main ship in that fandom is Gambit/Rogue anyway. They're way too fucked-up and complicated to probably ever become boring. :D

Jack and Kate? Jate is fate, my ass. They don't even bore me, they make me cringe.
Jack makes me wish he would die a painful death every time he's on screen, and every time Kate is with him, I want to slap her. She completely forgets she's a competent badass bitch and becomes a sniveling, simpering wuss who practically grovels for his acceptance, and he doesn't help by patronizing her. What a great romance. *rolls eyes* And I don't say this just because I'm a so-called Skater, I'd be completely pleased if she ran off with Sayid or something, as long as it isn't Jack. But I hope beyond hope that she would stick with Sawyer. *sigh*

Will and Elizabeth... well, don't even get me started on them! Because that would never end.

In Harry Potter I could never care less about the relationships between the protagonists, it was always the side characters I found more intriguing anyway.

Actually, I think that out of all my 'ships, only Buffy and Angel have been a "good ship", and them I started shipping when I was 14 or something. Drizzt and Catti-brie are generally accepted as the main couple now (after years of indecisive on-offness, thoug), but they weren't that originally and Wulfgar was still around for a long time even after their relationship started to develop.
Shipping is pretty illogical business, and not all of my ships follow the same pattern, but most of them do. I've come to the conclusion that I usually root for relationships that are based on good companionship and/or some kind of deeper connection, mutual understanding. Which probably isn't all that surprising, considering that's the kind of love I would like to find one day. *chuckle*

Mmh. I had much more to write/rant about, but my brain's apparently not functioning properly again. Could be my screwed-up sleeping pattern, I woke up at midnight so I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy. I can't go to sleep yet, though, otherwise I'll never regain a normal pattern.
New Year's Eve tomorrow. I have no idea where I'll be. Possibly in Laitila, possibly in here. With Tommi I'm apparently at odds again at least. He saw himself justified to get mad at me because I couldn't answer the phone when I was at the med center. Pshh, whatever. He's not my pack leader.

I somehow don't want this year to end. Or actually, I don't want year 2008 to start.
I don't know why, I just have a strange, uncomfortable feeling about it.
darnaguen: (f/e)
From the darling [profile] jupedog:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.


"Hänen ajatuksensa olivat suuntautuneet sisäänpäin, yrittivät ratkaista Trieliltä keskustelun kuluessa saamiaan hienovaraisia viestejä. Suunnitelma Mithrilsalin valloittamiseksi vaikutti varsin lupaavalta. Jarlaxle oli ollut kääpiölinnoituksen lähettyvillä ja tutustunut sen puolustukseen. Vaikka puolustus olikin ihailtavan luja, ei se kestäisi drow-armeijaa vastaan."

-R. A. Salvatore: Tähdetön yö (Starless Night)

Damn, why did it have to be the only FR book I've been reading in Finnish lately?
Ah well, just for the heck of it, the same from the second nearest book:

"Though Pippin had regretfully to destroy his hopeful tale, he could not be rid of his new rank, only fitting, men thought, to one befriended by Boromir and honoured by the Lord Denethor; and they thanked him for coming among them, and hung on his words and stories of the outlands, and gave him as much food and ale as he could wish. Indeed his only trouble was to be 'wary' according to the counsel of Gandalf, and not to let his tongue wag freely after the manner of a hobbit among friends.
At length Beregond rose. 'Farewell for this time!' he said."

-J.R.R. Tolkien: The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King

I admit I had to bend the rules a little, though, because my copy is one of them illustrated ones by Alan Lee and the page 23 was actually an illustration of the city of Minas Tirith. So I used page 22. :p

Aaanyways... I had a pretty good time today.
Even though I'm once again in a totally weird sleeping pattern and spent the whole day sleeping yesterday and took only a little nap today after staying up all night, I actually managed to be one of the first ones in the history class for once. But well, it was the last class in this course and I didn't want to miss it. Wasn't exactly the most exciting class, though, because it was mostly about industrialism and the birth of modern political ideologies in the 19th century. But well, guess I have to learn about that stuff as well.
After school I went to buy myself the history textbook and also pick up the book I had ordered (the new The Legend of Drizzt edition of Salvatore's Sojourn with cover art by Todd Lockwood <3) while I was at it. Then I went to get Ella from work and we went to buy ourselves the tickets to a Kotiteollisuus gig on Saturday (yeah, the second time we see them live in two weeks :p) and grab some food.

After dining and hearing some sad news we met my mom briefly so she could give me some official documents and then proceeded to Cosmic Comic Café.
Thursday nights are Larp-kahvila nights so people from the Turku larp scene like Dare and Susanna and co. were about. Not a too big crowd, though, and I really enjoyed being all geeky and rambling about the X-Men with them. You don't get a chance to make good-natured fun of the soap-operatic shenanigans of the Summers clan or debate about whether Wolvie should have smelled it was Mystique entering his tent instead of Jean in X2 or not with like-minded people too often. I might have to make a habit of hanging out in Cosmic after school on Thursday nights, even though when people start talking about the city-larp campaign stuff, it all flies right over my head.
Another subject was for some reason (might have had something to do with Magneto) natural catastrophes, mainly the possibility of the über-volcano beneath the Yellowstone National Park erupting and promptly destroying a great deal of life on the North American continent (and probably also causing some nice little nuclear winters in Europe and Asia). I'll now take the risk of sounding like that git Pekka-Eric Auvinen and say that I probably wouldn't be too sorry if that happened. Of course I would want Steph and Chris and everyone to get away safely in time, but this world and mankind especially is in dire need of a bit of bitch-slapping, a reminder that we're not almighty, that not everything is in our control. This planet would also only benefit if there were a couple of billion people less.
So if you're asking me? Whoo yeah, bring on the Ragnarök/Harmageddon/what you have! \,,/

Gaah. I'm sure I had something else to write about, but of course I forgot what it was.
Ah well, better go and try to catch some Z's. G'night, kittens.

EDIT: I just noticed that both of my Pirates fics in FF.net have been nominated for an award. O_O
"Most Creative" for The Seven Names of Elizabeth Swann and "Best Jack POV" for In Her Eyes of Gold. Didn't win the first one, but it's only completely natural as I was up against the likes of [personal profile] bravenewcentury . I don't expect to win the other one either, but it sure felt good to be even nominated considering how brilliant writers this fandom has.
darnaguen: (Default)
Hi. I'm alive. In case anyone wondered.
Just one of those minor breakdowns when I become unsocial and absent-minded and spend my days only sleeping, reading and playing Icewind Dale II or something again.

Anyways, today was a pretty good day.

First thing I noticed in the morning was the storm outside. Not a thunderstorm, but one of those typical October storms with howling winds and swaying treetops and swirling leaves. I love them. What made it even better was that it wasn't cold outside.

The second thing that made me smile was the postcard from New York I found from the floor in front of the door on my way to brush my teeth. Can't say the whole thing doesn't still confuse me a bit, but hey: when my life isn't confusing?

Third: I actually managed to drag my ass to the downtown and get some official papers sent (very late, but anyway).

Fourth: I found amazing boots. They're kind of combat boots, but a lot more graceful than my Docs and they have buckles. They're classy, sassy, practical and comfortable all at once. And they cost only 34€. <3

The only bum side was that just when I really wanted to buy some Forgotten Realms books in English, I couldn't find a single one from Akateeminen, and Fantasiapelit was of course already closed when I finally found out its new location. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.
I think I've switched fandoms again, this time back to FR, probably mostly due to the RPG campaign I've been planning. But I just love that universe. I don't think there's a single fantasy world I love as much as I love the Realms, not even Arda (you know, Middle-Earth etc.). Ed Greenwood may be a mediocre writer at best, but damn, bless that guy's imagination.

On a related note, I think Todd Lockwood is my new hero.
I mean, I've always loved his art; I've sometimes loaned the D&D and FR rulebooks from the library only to drool on his concept art (I want him to design me clothes. Or an armor. Or a weapon. Or a dragon. Or...), and he's so far the only cover artist that has managed to get Drizzt right.
But I just spent about an hour on his website and boy, that man rocks. He's funny and witty and seems really laid-back and approachable. Wow. It's always so great to find out that artists you admire for their art are also great people. Now I really want to order one of his works as a poster, but I think I'd need a real credit card. Bummer.

Aah, anyway. More FR -related ramblings possibly later (I even think I have a ficlet brewing inside my head), now I think I should either try writing some e-mails I've supposed to write for ages or go get some sleep as I have to run around the town the whole day again tomorrow. I think I'm leaning towards the latter, sorry guys. *yawn*
darnaguen: (Default)
So... If I have learned something important or met someone important in each year's September ever since 2003, I guess this year's lesson is: "Your actions have consequences."
I've also come to realize, although more recently than in September, what an arrogant, presumptuous fool I have occasionally been (and what consequences it has had).

It's oddly fitting that I learned this now, because during the past two weeks I've been having a some kind of Jane Austen phase (I've watched the new Pride & Prejudice movie at least thrice and listened to the soundtrack on repeat). So if I've identified with Lizzy before, I understand her dismay after realizing how wrong she had been even better now. And Darcy's too, especially after reading Maya Slater's Mr. Darcy's Diary, fanfiction in form of literature as it may be.

I'm pretty ashamed of myself, especially for the trouble and chagrin I have unintentionally caused to others, but I guess there's no use dwelling on it. Past is past. *sigh*

Ahh, anyways... I suppose something good came out of that little misadventure in Helsinki a couple of weeks ago as well, because it now looks like me and Ella are going to Dublin in April. For real. I've now decided to go there in the spring even if we don't get tickets to that NW gig. It would be cool, of course, as they're still my favourite band and all, but... yeah.
So, in conclusion: Whoo yeah, I'm going home(?)! *big wide grin*
darnaguen: (Default)
Wow. This is confusing.
I have three of my fandoms clashing viciously inside my head:

-Pirates of the Caribbean, but also its sister dimension, the world of The Legend of the Red Wyrm and The Siren's Yearning. Which, by the way, is a playground of imagination created by me and expanded by Ella in which the alter-egos of (or more like characters based on) several Finnish metal musicians plus our circle of friends happily roam the seven seas.
Should really start writing The Siren's Yearning some day as well and just stop worrying about historical accuracy and whatnot. Bloody perfectionism.

-Buffyverse, as I've recently re-watched some of the old episodes of Buffy and Angel and it made me realize once again why I loved it so much. Well, the early seasons at least, as it started to go pretty weird after Buffy's fourth season and I'm still bitter about how Angel ended. :p

-Naturally enough, I suppose, Harry Potter.
I've stayed out of the fandom for pretty much a whole year now. I went to see The Order of the Phoenix knowing virtually nothing about it beforehand (well, a lot less than about the previous one, anyway) and today I managed to buy The Deathly Hallows completely unspoiled (though as soon as I got home, of course I had to click a link to a picture in [profile] hp_art_daily which pretty much spoiled one of the people who will die in the book. Oh well, I suspected he might.)

It's probably not the best time of the month to start reading that book as I'm in quite emotional state. Last night I got teary-eyed when I read Buffy's final speech in the season five final episode, The Gift.
A
nd now I started crying after only reading the William Penn quote in the introduction of the book. The first death left me quite unshaken, though. Probably because I expected it to be someone else. Or maybe because nothing can beat the shock-factor of The Half-Blood Prince's ending (I cried for hours even though I knew what was going to happen).
It's been quite painful to read so far, though. These last books are definetely not for the kiddies anymore. Death, torture, psychological manipulation, betrayal, corruption, loss, oppressing atmosphere, nazi allegories... And increasing amount of innuendo. :p

Hmm, I wo
nder what kind of dreams will I have after watching a couple of Buffy fanvideos, listening to At Wit's End on repeat and reading several chapters of TDH more. :p
darnaguen: (Default)
Hmm. I should probably start being less open about my eccentricisms on public message boards, I've already apparently managed to make certain people think I'm some obsessed psycho and a possible threat. *dry chuckle*
Oh well, shit happens. It does bother me but I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

Ah well, anyways...
I had a nice day. We went to see the fifth Harry Potter movie and I have to say it became my favourite one after The Prisoner of Azkaban, it had a very similar feel to it.
It followed the book very loyally, had some great scenes, great continuity from the previous films (same sets, props and even clothes and flashbacks from the previous films) and über-cute Tonks and Luna.
But there wasn't enough of the Order! The Order of the Phoenix is probably the coolest thing in the whole Potter universe, they deserve more screen time. Especially Remus, who was on the screen like two minutes if even that much (but ha! I always knew young Remus had long hair :]) and wasn't even in the Advance Guard which is weird because the whole point was that he was the only one there whom Harry knew for sure he could trust. And the "Don't call me Nymphadora!" line was supposed to be bantery and the first hint about what happens in the next book. (Yeah, I ship Remus/Tonks, sue me :p)
Also the finale was a bit anticlimatic somehow and Voldy looked too human, must have been the eyes (and it certainly didn't help to see him in a suit or dressed like Harry).
Bellatrix was okay, though half of the time I couldn't help thinking that Helena Bonham Carter was just being herself. ;p But Rodolphus and Rabastan looked great!
Oh, and the "new" Dumbledore still doesn't convince me. He's too shabby and impatient and where the hell are his half-moon glasses? RIP Richard Harris. *sigh*

After the movie we went to eat some Chinese (which I decided is not really for me) and reminsce the days of old when we were still silly rebellious teens with Ella, Mervi and Fanny and from there to Cosmic Comic Café where we played a funny character analysis game. Apparently I'd be a great tv-safari hostess whose cameramen get eaten by alligators all the time. :D

Meh. I should probably go to sleep.
I already have like three books I'm currently reading, but I have a feeling I just might grab my The Order of the Phoenix from the shelf and re-read it and The Half-Blood Prince before I go buy the last one.

EDIT: Oh fucking hell. That thing really does bother me. *bangs her head against the desk*
I guess I should at least try to do something about it.
darnaguen: (Default)
The summer managed to take me by surprise again. Finnish summer is good at sneaking on you like that.

Maybe that's the reason why I've been spending money like crazy lately.
First I ordered The Mists of Avalon DVD from CDON (about 13€), then I bought tickets for me and Ella (as a graduation present) to the Turku gig of Nightwish in December (87,65€ including shipping costs) and today I spent 60€ to books.

I was in Akateeminen when I noticed some brilliant person had finally decided to translate the first part of the Young Jack Sparrow series in Finnish, and the book version of At World's End (which is a lot more elaborate than the two previous ones) as well.
I don't really know why I bought the latter because I still like AWE the least of the three, but at least it has some scenes that were cut from the film, like that exchange between Jack and Becks about their shared past.
The translation of both is luckily quite good (although "Aye" doesn't bloody translate as "Ohoi". That's "Ahoy". And in Tia's case the word "mystic" is a noun, not an adjective.), but I'd still have rather bought them in English if it had been possible because especially with the YJS book I have to use some imagination to hear Jack's "voice" in my head. Ah well, at least it's not only in bloody Swedish anymore.
I was already about to leave when I spotted an interesting-looking book in the "New books" shelf. It was Morrigan's Cross by Nora Roberts (yes, I know she's a romance novelist, but I like her witty style and the fact she adds some supernatural mystery and mythology in her books), translated in Finnish. I've been trying to find that book for ages, so I was pretty happy and decided to buy it as well on impulse. On the other hand, though, I've been dying to get something new to read. I think I'll go read it someday by that lovely little pond near my house.

On Sunday I was at Ella's graduation party in Laitila.
The weather was lovely and sunny and hot as hell, so I had an excuse to wear my green sundress I bought a couple of years ago from Zara. After we'd scandalized (okay, I think Ella herself did most of the scandalizing) her relatives for a couple of hours, we proceeded to her family's summer cottage at Lukujärvi where we could let our hair down. And get naked. ;p
It was lovely to just hang out there in good company, swim in the warm and clear lake, go to wood-warmed sauna and bathe in that huge wooden tub/jacuzzi thingy by the lake (Samppa was in quite lucky position to be the only guy there among four pretty naked ladies :D), watching the sun set and listening to the diver cry somewhere on the opposite side of the lake.
I could have easily stayed there for another couple of days. Or weeks.
I think I'm definetely more a lake person than a sea person. Which is actually quite weird, but it might have something to do with my fear of very open spaces (I don't remember what's that called, agoraphobia?). But it's also something about lake water that makes everything about you soft; your hair, your skin. Salty brine has quite the opposite effect.

Meh. The Lukujärvi trip made me reminsce last July when I spent long hours just sitting by that lake in Tohmajärvi with my feet dangling in the water, watching the sun set slowly and listening to the cuckoo on the opposite side of the lake. It also stirred that odd longing in me again.
I now know that the place I'm looking for is not in Tohmajärvi or anywhere near, but there I was closer to it than in here. For some reason I think I... have to go back to Kuopio. O_o
But then again, didn't I swear I would return when I left last time? *chuckle*

Anyway, here's to Finnish summer:

Nocturne )

darnaguen: (Default)
Oh, here you are
There's nothing left to say.
You're not supposed to be that way.
Did they push you out?
Did they throw you away?

Touch me now and I don't care.
When you take me, I'm not there.
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.

Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own.
Long way down
I don't want to live in here alone.
Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own.

I never put you down.
I never pushed you away.
You're not supposed to be that way.
And anything you want
There's nothing I could say.

Is there anything to feel?
Is it pain that makes you real?
Cut me off before it kills me.

Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own.
Long way down
I don't want to live in here alone.
Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own.

I never put you down.
I never pushed you away.
Take another piece of me,
Give my mind a new disease
And the black and white world never fades to grey.

Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own.
Long way down
I don't want to live in here alone.
Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own.

On my own...
On my own...


Once again, just felt like it.
And sometimes, every once in a while, I just realize again why I love Goo Goo Dolls.

Oh, and hi, I'm still alive.
Physically anyway.

EDIT: The Tempest by Shakespeare has been popping up a lot tonight while I've been doing some research across the internet, Wikipedia in particular. Strange. Does that mean I should read it? Oh well, I should probably get over my weird anti-Shakespeare attitude anyway and civilize myself a bit...
darnaguen: (Default)
So... The last day before I'll leave is dawning.
The seagulls are already crying outside, I wonder if I will miss the sound as annoying as it is.

I think I have to go to sleep soon since I have to wake up early enough to make some phonecalls to move some appointments I can't go to because of the trip and also to possibly go buy meself a music player, I'm not sure yet if I should buy a mp3-player or a CD-player. mp3-player would be good otherwise, but since Mikael isn't at home I'm sure I manage to destroy something while trying to transfer the music from this thing to the player. :p

Oh well... I do have a portable CD player but it doesn't work properly. I'll see what I will do.
But one thing is a fact: I can't live a week without my music, not even in North Karelia. :p
Hmm... This orchestral version of Ghost Love Score I'm listening to also reminded me that I have to make my dad listen to this as well as the orchestral of Creek Mary's Blood...
So mp3-player it is. *thoughtful* I only need to find a decent one with a decent price even though I have more money on my account than I thought I have.

I also need to visit library if only possible, seven hours in train plus five days in backwoods without anything to read... :s I haven't finished The Hollowing by Robert Holdstock Mervi borrowed me yet, and still have Sue Harrison's Call Down the Stars in queue but they're not nearly enough. :p

Anyway... The big party is behind now and I can't say anything very surprising happened. People got drunk etc. and I felt lonely as usual.
I don't blame anyone, I always feel lonely, for some reason especially among people.
It was nice of Lassi (older of the Leppänen brothers aka Tommi's big bro) to come to talk to me in the garden though, and I appreciate Valtsu's offer for solace when I experienced a minor breakdown at some point. Stupid thing, really.
I should be able to keep myself together and not falling apart like that. I don't even have any serious problems, I just create problems inside my head.
Though oblivion would be a great blessing sometimes. *sigh*

I'm also a bit sorry for Valtsu, he tried to help, tried to make me talk to him about what bothers me, but I guess I am an impossible case. *wry smile*
Do I really appear so sad then? Because Mervi showed signs of concern too, and she if someone should be able to tell... Oh well, maybe I am but what can I do?
I'm just waiting, always only waiting... *sigh*

The little fatalist in me is wondering about why I was given the chance for this trip now but the realist who is still the predominant one tells her to shut up and to stop being ridiculous.
Very probably nothing epoch-making will happen, but maybe I'll come to realize something about myself or about life in general while sitting there by a lake surrounded by hills and being eaten alive by mosquitoes. :p

Time will tell.
darnaguen: (Default)
So, my friends... The Nightwish book.
Interesting new info you are probably dying to hear... xD

Okay, I'll be merciful and throw you some bones. ;)
I'll put them behind a cut just in case someone doesn't want to know.
And don't blame me of your curiosity. ;)

Spoilers )

Looks like they are mostly about Tuomas this time, but I'll update this when I'm less tired and have the book at hand to check if I remember correctly. *yawn*

So there, hope that satisfied your worst curiosity.
darnaguen: (Default)
I'm still confused.
A lot of contradictory thoughts and emotions are going through my mind.

And it's just a damn book about a damn band.

Argh.

Sorry, [livejournal.com profile] huivanta and others, looks like I can't give you a nice little spoilery entry just yet.
I need to sort out my mind first.

"From cradle to grave love leads our way,
We live forever that one day.
From times of famine to the days of feast
The tale of the beauty and the beast..."


Awwh, Tony. *grin*
darnaguen: (Default)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] olorin

Turn on the shuffle in your player, play all your songs and let the music be your prophet...

----------------------------------

Where do you live: Goo Goo Dolls - Big Machine (right...)
Describe your first love: Nightwish - Wishmaster (well, not exactly xD)
Describe your current crush: Finntroll - Midnattens Widunder (Beast of Midnight xD)
What is your challenge: Howard Shore - The Breaking of the Fellowship (O_o)
Who are your friends: Nightwish - Creek Mary's Blood (Native Americans? Yay!)
Describe your appearance: Moonsorrow - Tyven (Calm? Well, I guess :D)
What did you do last night: Enigma - Return To Innocence (I wish...)
Where were you last night: Therion - Lemuria (Cool! :])
What is your life endeavour: Gindul Mitzei - Liberty (Indeed :D)
When do you have sex: Finntroll - När Allt Blir Is (When everything turns into ice? Right...)
How do you have sex: Savage Garden - Break Me Shake Me (tough love...)
Where do you have sex: Finntroll - Bakom Varje Fura (Behind every pine? xD)
How do you want to die: Hans Zimmer - Now We Are Free (sounds good :))
Where do you want to die: Nightwish - Dead Gardens (how gothic :D)
What do you want to say to your parents: Tehosekoitin - Mä Haluun Rauhoittua ("I want to calm down..." Hmm, why not)
Where do you spend your time: Mostly Autumn - Lothlórien (<3)
How do you spend your time: Evanescence - Listen To The Rain (<3)
What are your views on the society: Sonata Artica - The Cage (that's right!)
Describe your latest heartache: Mostly Autumn - Hollow (that pretty much summed it :p)
What is your explanation for everything: Blackmore's Night - The Clock Ticks On (right...)
What do you think on Fridays: System Of A Down - Aerials (O_o)
What are the questions in life you would like to have an answer to: Evanescence - Where Will You Go? (hmmm...)
What would you like to do right now: Velvet Revolver - Fall To Pieces (uh, no?)
Describe your best friend: Nightwish - Sleepwalker (well, at least she snores :D)
What do you have under your bed: Baldur's Gate II : Throne of Bhaal Soundtrack - Pocket Plane (Cool! :D)
What has been your greatest achievement: Enya - Bard Dance (uhm?)
Where will you go for honeymoon: Loreena McKennitt - Marrakesh Night Market (to Morocco? Okay then :D)
What do you have on your To Do List: Blackmore's Night - Crowning Of The King (:D)
Where would you rather be right now: Moonsorrow - Matkan Lopussa (At the journey's end? Well...)


I'm quite happy right now. I talked in MSN with two people I have missed a bit and things seem to be quite well in general. I don't know if they really are, but I do feel quite good (except for this damn flu).
I think I'll go buy myself some book tomorrow, I already finshed Jack London's Whitefang (which, by the way, made me once again think how much more natural and easy it would be for me to live in the shape of a wolf... *sigh*)

But now I think I have to go get some sleep.
Goodnight my friends, and blessed be!
darnaguen: (Default)
*sigh* I still didn't manage to do anything really relevant today...

Oh well.

But I spent some quality time with Ella, Ville and Fanny today, it was nice. We watched Studio Impossible and Terminator II and talked about politics a bit. Politics, isn't it strange? *chuckles*
And tomorrow we'll possibly go to Whisky Bar to celebrate the first off-weekend of our heroes in the military forces and after that to Sokeri (yes, Sokeri, aren't we wicked? :p) to dance.

I bought From Wishes To Eternity from the sale in Anttila, by the way. Now I'm only lacking the forthcoming End of an Era...
I also found the Once notebook and got ridiculously happy about it and browsed it through in almost ecstasy. And Ville was having fun watching me whimper excitedly. :P
I mean, what the hell would I do with that? I can't sing or play any instruments.
But I guess it were those commentaries written by Tuomas about each song. Sounds probably really weird and fangirly and everything, but reading them just managed to make me really happy for a while.
I just like his wholehearted sincerity and his quiet, intelligent sense of humor so much. ^^

Gah, I'd better go to sleep now, it's 6.14 am...
Maybe I'll read a couple of chapters of Jane Eyre before that.
Or listen to Visor Om Slutet...
darnaguen: (Default)
Ja vaihteeksi muutama testi:

Take the quiz: "Which vampire from the Vampire Chronicles By Anne Rice are you?"


Marius
You are Marius. Marius is a Child of the Millennia, or one of the few vampires who make it through more than a thousand years, and actually, Marius is over 2500 years old, having seen centuries of war, religion, plague, and disaster, and is somewhat disillusioned by it. He claims to have no religion, and was once a grand painter in Venice, before his happiness was destroyed by a Satanist Roman coven. Marius' sorrows are many, but he tries to find peace in a chaotic modern world. He is essentially the govenor of Those Who Must Be Kept until they are both eventually destroyed. Mon Amour, Marius, such pain!

Yay.

You are Gabrielle!
So how was the Amazon anyway? You are Gabrielle!
You hate being tied down in anyway to anything.
You love exploring. More power to ya, girl!


Which Anne Rice vampire are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ô_o

armand
You are - Armand!
You're misunderstood in many ways. Difficulties in
your past has influenced the guarded person
you've become. You only let the real you out to
those you trust. But when you do let your real
self be known you're a beautiful person. A
giving friend and close companion.


Which Anne Rice Vampire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

...ja enemmän kuin hiukan hullu. Eeh...?
Tämä alkaa käydä mielenkiintoiseksi.
No, yhtä vastausta vaihtamalla olisin ollut Marius.

Marius
Marius de Romanus is your perfect companion. As an
ancient, Marius has seen the centuries go by.
He likes art and beauty and originates from
ancient Rome. He's intelligent and respectful
and often very affectionate.


Which Anne Rice vampire is your ideal companion? (With pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

I think I see a pattern here...

No jaa, eiköhän tuo riitä. Olen siis Marius. Fine.
Luen muuten parhaillaan Pandoraa. Siinä on yksi mielenkiintoinen nainen.
Tämä kirja antaa hänelle lopultakin persoonallisuuden, sillä muissa kirjoissa hän on ollut vain se salaperäinen, hauraanoloinen kaunotar, jota Marius palvoo.
Oikeasti Pandora on älykäs, sarkastinen, itsepäinen ja peloton hahmo joka tekee mitä mieleen juolahtaa itseluottamusta uhkuen. Tai näin oli ainakin siihen asti kun hänestä tuli kuolematon, sitä edemmäs en ole vielä ehtinyt.

Oh well, pitää varmaan mennä syömään jotain etten pyörry taas...
darnaguen: (Default)
Voin jopa melkein ylpeänä sanoa, että kaikesta huolimatta larppi sujui yllättävän hyvin.
En usko, että minulla on juuri nyt aikaa kirjoittaa raporttia siitä, sillä veli saattaa palata minä hetkenä hyvänsä sosialisoimasta, mutta lupaan yrittää kirjoittaa sitä aamupäivällä.
Mikä taas meinaa sitä, että lienee parempi mennä nukkumaan...

Da Vinci Code oli muuten varsin mielenkiintoinen kirja.

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