"Kuka eksyneelle tien näyttää, kun aika kulkee vain loppuaan kohti?"

[darnaguen]

Augh, I hate PMS and everything related to it.
I've been really cranky for the last couple of days and today I've either been tremendously uncomfortable or in infernal agony. And really weepy.
In the morning I finished reading the previously mentioned Eclipse and cried a good half an hour if not even more (but then again, I probably would have cried anyway *sigh*), and while I was on the bus on my way to the downtown and my mp3 player played Creek Mary's Blood, I very nearly started crying again.

Sometimes I really hate feeling things so strongly, and my damn hormones aren't helping. When I'm like this, I can get so deeply affected by for example completely fictional stuff that it's very difficult for me to focus on anything else. Very annoying, and also makes my life unnecessarily difficult.
People keep telling me I should try meditating as it would help me build stronger "shields", but I don't know, I'm afraid I would be too restless for it to work, and unable to empty my head from thoughts. But as there won't be another Qigong course in six months or so, it's my only option at the moment. It can't go on like this.
Especially as I think I've lately become increasingly sensitive to everything. I'm more aware of changes in the atmosphere, energies between people and people's discomfort, even changes in weather affect me physically.

Also... It's kinda funny in some morbid way, but lately I've started to have this "before it's too late" or "soon it won't matter anymore anyway" kind of mentality. I've become almost ridiculously sure about something really huge and radical happening quite soon, in a few years perhaps. What's especially funny about it is that my older brother has such faith in the future, he believes the world can be saved with his science. In a way I wish I could believe it too, but on the other hand I believe this huge and radical thing will ultimately be a good thing, in the end, when the dust has settled.
I also believe my discomfort with this newborn year has something to do with that, especially as I found out I'm certainly not the only one who feels uncomfortable and even worried about 2008. Only time will tell, but I'll stay on my guard nevertheless, just in case.

*chuckle* I know what I wrote may sound to a normal, rational person like ramblings of a mad person, but... remind me to tell you I told you so. *wry smile*

Comments

[suomigoth.livejournal.com]

I completely recognise myself in the things you say (so if that makes you mad I'm mad too...)
So meditation would provide a stronger shield against (negative) energy from the outer world? Hmm I can find myself in that, though I don't think only meditation does the trick... it's a starter. Than one still has to figure out how to shield oneself (and I surely don't know how!)

It might be a good thing if something happens to stir this world completely up. Make people more aware of taking care, instead of being selfish beings on living for gain...
Still it scares me, whatever doom lies ahead... Time will tell indeed...

[(Anonymous)]

aye, something is coming.

Some of us does have some kind of idea of what that "something" is, but to speak of it is... hm. Difficult to put in words, altought not truly impossible. and no, I'm not the one who's going to try out about such in a open journal (or even closed one).

Well, I just decided to let you know, that you're not only creature I know who is feeling things as you seem to be, and if you wish to hear my ramblings about the subject, just let me know... Besides, as I stumbled here (boring day, again) I grew a bit curious about these feelings you talk about a lot, and about... hm. what would be appropriate word? *pondering for a while* about the thoughts you actually seem to have, but cannot yet comprehend (?).. oh well.

-SLS

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Heh, I figured you might be one of "us" (yes, it's pretty difficult to find proper terms for this kind of things indeed) as well.
So I certainly wouldn't mind sharing thoughts with you, about that which is coming and so on. Guess we're in this together somehow, after all. :)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm always willing to hear different views of the world and it's true nature. And by slight peak in your journal, you seem to be one who needs to ask some questions.

I am not saying, that I have the answers, but I'm quite sure, that we could learn something from each others wonder.

Everyone here is lost somehow, few just does actually realize that.

I might be hard to reach in most ways, as I am not always near computers or such, just at some weekends. Phone would probably be a most certain method, if you dare =P . Just feel free to poke me with ramblings every time you feel like you would need to open your "mystical mumbo-jumbo" with someone.

None of us is alone with this, and none of us actually should be. =)

-SLS

[audrah.livejournal.com]

Yet another one who can claim to know how you feel. It was like the text was coming from my pen (keyboard). For me, too, it's not just real life that throws me around so much emotionally, its the fictional stuff - sometimes even more so. Though that could be because I've consciously closed myself from real life, I avoid it as much as possible so that it doesn't get the chance to set me in turmoil. Coping with fiction is so much easier since in the end, you know it's just that: fiction.

I thought it was just teenage, but apparently not, since I'm 22 and still going strong. :D Unfortunaltely I can't help you, since I haven't figured out a 'cure' myself. As said, I've just started avoiding anything and everything. Not the best way to lead your life, so wouldn't recommend that. :)