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darnaguenAugh, I hate PMS and everything related to it.
I've been really cranky for the last couple of days and today I've either been tremendously uncomfortable or in infernal agony. And really weepy.
In the morning I finished reading the previously mentioned Eclipse and cried a good half an hour if not even more (but then again, I probably would have cried anyway *sigh*), and while I was on the bus on my way to the downtown and my mp3 player played Creek Mary's Blood, I very nearly started crying again.
Sometimes I really hate feeling things so strongly, and my damn hormones aren't helping. When I'm like this, I can get so deeply affected by for example completely fictional stuff that it's very difficult for me to focus on anything else. Very annoying, and also makes my life unnecessarily difficult.
People keep telling me I should try meditating as it would help me build stronger "shields", but I don't know, I'm afraid I would be too restless for it to work, and unable to empty my head from thoughts. But as there won't be another Qigong course in six months or so, it's my only option at the moment. It can't go on like this.
Especially as I think I've lately become increasingly sensitive to everything. I'm more aware of changes in the atmosphere, energies between people and people's discomfort, even changes in weather affect me physically.
Also... It's kinda funny in some morbid way, but lately I've started to have this "before it's too late" or "soon it won't matter anymore anyway" kind of mentality. I've become almost ridiculously sure about something really huge and radical happening quite soon, in a few years perhaps. What's especially funny about it is that my older brother has such faith in the future, he believes the world can be saved with his science. In a way I wish I could believe it too, but on the other hand I believe this huge and radical thing will ultimately be a good thing, in the end, when the dust has settled.
I also believe my discomfort with this newborn year has something to do with that, especially as I found out I'm certainly not the only one who feels uncomfortable and even worried about 2008. Only time will tell, but I'll stay on my guard nevertheless, just in case.
*chuckle* I know what I wrote may sound to a normal, rational person like ramblings of a mad person, but... remind me to tell you I told you so. *wry smile*
I've been really cranky for the last couple of days and today I've either been tremendously uncomfortable or in infernal agony. And really weepy.
In the morning I finished reading the previously mentioned Eclipse and cried a good half an hour if not even more (but then again, I probably would have cried anyway *sigh*), and while I was on the bus on my way to the downtown and my mp3 player played Creek Mary's Blood, I very nearly started crying again.
Sometimes I really hate feeling things so strongly, and my damn hormones aren't helping. When I'm like this, I can get so deeply affected by for example completely fictional stuff that it's very difficult for me to focus on anything else. Very annoying, and also makes my life unnecessarily difficult.
People keep telling me I should try meditating as it would help me build stronger "shields", but I don't know, I'm afraid I would be too restless for it to work, and unable to empty my head from thoughts. But as there won't be another Qigong course in six months or so, it's my only option at the moment. It can't go on like this.
Especially as I think I've lately become increasingly sensitive to everything. I'm more aware of changes in the atmosphere, energies between people and people's discomfort, even changes in weather affect me physically.
Also... It's kinda funny in some morbid way, but lately I've started to have this "before it's too late" or "soon it won't matter anymore anyway" kind of mentality. I've become almost ridiculously sure about something really huge and radical happening quite soon, in a few years perhaps. What's especially funny about it is that my older brother has such faith in the future, he believes the world can be saved with his science. In a way I wish I could believe it too, but on the other hand I believe this huge and radical thing will ultimately be a good thing, in the end, when the dust has settled.
I also believe my discomfort with this newborn year has something to do with that, especially as I found out I'm certainly not the only one who feels uncomfortable and even worried about 2008. Only time will tell, but I'll stay on my guard nevertheless, just in case.
*chuckle* I know what I wrote may sound to a normal, rational person like ramblings of a mad person, but... remind me to tell you I told you so. *wry smile*
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no subject
Date: 5 Jan 2008 23:55 (UTC)So I certainly wouldn't mind sharing thoughts with you, about that which is coming and so on. Guess we're in this together somehow, after all. :)
no subject
Date: 6 Jan 2008 15:59 (UTC)I am not saying, that I have the answers, but I'm quite sure, that we could learn something from each others wonder.
Everyone here is lost somehow, few just does actually realize that.
I might be hard to reach in most ways, as I am not always near computers or such, just at some weekends. Phone would probably be a most certain method, if you dare =P . Just feel free to poke me with ramblings every time you feel like you would need to open your "mystical mumbo-jumbo" with someone.
None of us is alone with this, and none of us actually should be. =)
-SLS