I'm so bloody anxious I can't sleep. (Also: Hi, I'm alive!)

[darnaguen]

Tell me, why do I larp again, when I know I get anxious and control-freaky about everything and focus way too much on insignificant costuming stuff and in the process fail to absorb the materials as well as I should (why yes, larping in Finland is srs bsns)?
And that I'll probably also feel like an outsider off-game and instead of the wild drinking that usually happens pre- and after-game, just want to have quiet, deep conversation with someone in the corner - but my go-to people for that won't be present.

I’m paying 20€ for something that should be fun and relaxing break from reality, but instead brings me panic attacks and general anxiety.

Why couldn’t I just sit this one out?

(I promise I'll write more about what's been going on in my life lately (not very much, but some of that important) soon, I just needed to get this off my chest right now, and it was a good excuse to activate this thing that has been gathering dust for way too long.)

Comments

[joakimb.livejournal.com]

Et ole yksin pre-game stressin (varsinkin proppi!) kanssa. Mulla se on pahimmillaan harmaasusien peleissä, joita mulla olis keväälle tiedossa kaksi, seuraava ensi viikonloppuna.

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Hui, itse en juuri proppisyistä edes uskalla ilmota susien peleihin kun ei ole varaa eikä osaamista propata asianmukaisesti vaikka kuinka haluaisinkin.