Regrets

I feel like there's so much less in my life nowadays. It's mostly my own fault, I suppose, I've given a lot up. But I miss those things.

I miss playing Werewolf: The Apocalypse. I was really fond of Maarit and the Windwalkers pack. I'm really sorry I let Aarne & co. down. I never wanted to become that kind of girlfriend (even though that's not really the whole explanation).
I miss Qigong. I really enjoyed it, and should at least practice it on my own.
I kind of miss my Nightwish fandom, even though it hasn't really been my scene in a year or so anymore. But I miss the people. I just can't handle the drama and responsibility on the forum any longer, and... I'm just not really a fan anymore.

I miss Call of Cthulhu. I miss those long walks and debates with Samuel (where are you, man?). I miss watching movies at Mervi's place and her cats (she lives in Romania now, life's funny sometimes). I miss Whisky Bar and its awesome jukebox. I miss babysitting Tommi and Knaapi when they're being drunken idiots. I miss larping the way it still was four or five years ago.

Hell, I miss having a social life of my own. This place is constantly full of people, but it just makes me feel more lonely because mostly I just feel like I'm in the way. "Oh sorry, don't mind me, I just live here.". One of the main reasons why I spend so much time at Tampere nowadays is because I barely feel like this is my home at all anymore.
And yeah, I have a boyfriend now, but I don't want him to be my entire social life. I really DON'T want to be that kind of girlfriend. *faint panicked look of a cornered animal*

Call me, poke me on Facebook, send me a message in a bottle. Ask me out for a drink, to movies, to the park or riverside to eat ice cream. I can't promise 100% to be in Turku, but if I am I promise I'll come.
I'm already looking forward to Teinigoottipiknik, thank you Venla. <3

(Oh dear God this track gives me chills. ;__; <3)

Wild Horses

*raises both hands apologetically* I know, I know. Another emo lyric entry. My excuse is PMS or some other hormone-induced weepiness.
But once again this song describes my feelings better than anything I could come up with.

I feel these four walls closing in
Face up against the glass
I'm looking out, hmmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around?
Is this the bed I chose to make?
It's greener pastures I'm thinking about
Wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but not feel scared

Ooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bareback, carefree
Along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping headfirst, headlong
Without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

I wanna run too
Recklessly emboundening myself before you
I wanna open up my heart
Tell him how I feel

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses...