Regrets

[darnaguen]

I feel like there's so much less in my life nowadays. It's mostly my own fault, I suppose, I've given a lot up. But I miss those things.

I miss playing Werewolf: The Apocalypse. I was really fond of Maarit and the Windwalkers pack. I'm really sorry I let Aarne & co. down. I never wanted to become that kind of girlfriend (even though that's not really the whole explanation).
I miss Qigong. I really enjoyed it, and should at least practice it on my own.
I kind of miss my Nightwish fandom, even though it hasn't really been my scene in a year or so anymore. But I miss the people. I just can't handle the drama and responsibility on the forum any longer, and... I'm just not really a fan anymore.

I miss Call of Cthulhu. I miss those long walks and debates with Samuel (where are you, man?). I miss watching movies at Mervi's place and her cats (she lives in Romania now, life's funny sometimes). I miss Whisky Bar and its awesome jukebox. I miss babysitting Tommi and Knaapi when they're being drunken idiots. I miss larping the way it still was four or five years ago.

Hell, I miss having a social life of my own. This place is constantly full of people, but it just makes me feel more lonely because mostly I just feel like I'm in the way. "Oh sorry, don't mind me, I just live here.". One of the main reasons why I spend so much time at Tampere nowadays is because I barely feel like this is my home at all anymore.
And yeah, I have a boyfriend now, but I don't want him to be my entire social life. I really DON'T want to be that kind of girlfriend. *faint panicked look of a cornered animal*

Call me, poke me on Facebook, send me a message in a bottle. Ask me out for a drink, to movies, to the park or riverside to eat ice cream. I can't promise 100% to be in Turku, but if I am I promise I'll come.
I'm already looking forward to Teinigoottipiknik, thank you Venla. <3

(Oh dear God this track gives me chills. ;__; <3)

Comments

[routaaja.livejournal.com]

Why don't you call?

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Hmm, good point. Guess I just... don't expect people to be interested? *shrug*

[routaaja.livejournal.com]

Don't expect anything. You don't have too much to lose in this.

[shadow-wolfess.livejournal.com]

Maybe those things are gone now, so that you could replace them with something new? You know, we always have to move on in our lives.

And hey! How many times have I told you to come visit me in Hki?! You just like being asked, but you hardly move your ass for real!

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* I know, hence the entry and especially its title. I just realized I should get off my arse and do something. It's like I've been sleepwalking through life lately. O_o

[shadow-wolfess.livejournal.com]

Then instead of writing posts you should already DO something!

[casanovasi.livejournal.com]

Mi casa su casa, vai miten se menikään.

Anteeksi jos välillä raahaan tänne ihmisiä, ja että se eräs karvanaamakin pyörii nurkissa, ja sinusta tuntuu ulkopuoliselta. Mutta tavallaan toivon että esim. kun pojat pelaavat täällä cyberpunkkia, sinullakin on mahdollisuus nähdä heitä siinä sivussa, ja vaikka lähdettäisiin kaikki yhdessä sen jälkeen baariin tms.

Ja no, en mäkään hirveästi missään pyöri, larpeissa enintään, joten sama ikävä minullakin vanhoihin hyviin aikoihin, ja jopa ei niin vanhoihin edes, mutta kuitenkin.

Mitä kai yritän sanoa, niin toivon että en ahdista sinua nurkkaan asumalla kanssasi.

Äläkä sure esim- Werewolfia, voit tulla jatkamaan ihan milloin haluat, eiköhän Aarne sen sinulle suo. *hymy*

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

*naurahtaa* Ei siinä muuten mitään, välillä on kivaakin kun täällä on ihmisiä, mutta välillä tosiaan tulee vain sellainen fiilis että olen vain tiellä ja joskus olisi kiva vain katsoa telkkaria kahdestaan (ja kissan kanssa) niinkuin silloin alkuun. En haluaisi tuntea oloani ylimääräiseksi omassa kodissani, ja olisi kiva voida käydä suihkussa tai jääkaapilla milloin huvittaa häiritsemättä niitä neljää extra-asukkia. ;p

[(Anonymous)]

It has been a funny year (for me the year always begins in August/september, not January...). So much change - not that it is always bad, but somehow it makes me sad and a bit nostalgic. This year feels like leaving home. *k

[neverwanderer.livejournal.com]

Ei olla pitkään aikaan oltu kävelyllä Isosuolla. How about it next week? Just you and me :)

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Ei kyllä sitten Pääsiäisen 2005. :D Mutta joo, mennään vaan. ^^