"Somewhere there my fate revealed. I hear but how will I see?"

[darnaguen]

Well, I'm back.
At home, that is. Things started going headfirst to hell once again and I just couldn't stay alone there in that barren room.
No, nothing wrong with the room actually, but with the fact they're charging me some 200€ more of it that they were supposed to. And as you can probably tell, I have no such money. Even the 527€ per month would have been tough price enough to pay.

I was going to go back there with the last bus, but now I'm not that sure anymore.
After crying a bit, talking to Ella in phone (thanks love, I really needed that *hugs*) and eating something (haven't really eaten in about 12 hours), the familiar defiance is rising its head again.
I know "To hell with all!" attitude isn't the best possible attitude in a situation like this, but I guess it's some kind of psychological shielding mechanism. So I think I'll try to take it easy tonight, watch The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Stuart Townsend, rowr...) from TV and try redoing some Cloud Islands stuff.  I can worry about school stuff tomorrow.
And hey, maybe this path wasn't meant for me after all... Or then the Fate is laughing mockingly at me once again.

Comments

[shadow-wolfess.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait, wait.. You want to say you fucked up school?!!

[coralonline.livejournal.com]

Stuart Townsend = ♥ =P

So you're not moving then? Hope everything is okay..

- BTW: I've added you on last.fm =)

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

I didn't fuck it up, they did.

[shadow-wolfess.livejournal.com]

Who are they?! Now bring me those fuckers, I`ll kick their asses!!!!!

[hudine.livejournal.com]

I messed up at school and droped out, but I whent to the technocollage after. Was a lot better there.

Your going into a stage of life that things are confusing and it's natural to be scared and feel out of place. If you have IMs add me give me a shout anytime.... although my computer is always on so I'm not always at my computer but always get back eventually.

If you need a friend I'm here and I'm sure there is a lot of others that will help too. I'd give you my number but the phone bill probably go rather high..

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know... I've been looking for my place for a while now and dropped out of several schools and courses. Thought I'd be ready to study journalism on university level, but I guess I'm not ready for that yet. I think I'll finish my high school studies in evening college first.

And thanks for encouragement really, I'll add you to my MSN though I don't think I'll be logged in much during next two weeks due to the LARP project. :)

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm not completely innocent (well, guess I can't help my current mental state), but the people at the school messed things up by not telling me how much I was going to have to pay for it in the end.

[hudine.livejournal.com]

Course now trillain decideds to act up and I don't get your request :/

[hudine.livejournal.com]

worked that time I think. Added you and got your request message. Trillian can be a pain sometimes but it's better than running 4 seperate IM programs

[lumenlaulu.livejournal.com]

Ei se mitään, joskus vain on kokeiltava eri polkuja, jotta löytäisi niistä sen kaikkein omimman. Itsekin aikoinaan tuhlasin vuoden verran vanhempien rahoja ja aikaani kalliiseen opistoon, opiskellen rakennuspiirtäjäksi, enkä voinut yhtään enempää olla väärällä alalla, mutta en oikein osannut muutakaan tehdä elämälläni. Yliopistojen pääsykokeiden välinen aika kun on niin pitkä aika elettäväksi... Mutta tärkeintä on aina se, että uskaltaa yrittää ja uskaltaa kokeilla, ja sen teit. Harva tietää edes vielä kuolonpedilläänkään, että mitä he haluavatkaan elämällään tehdä, vaikka siitä olisi vain viisi minuuttia enää jäljellä.