darnaguen | Entries tagged with freedom

Fuck. I hate arguing with Ella.
Okay, not arguing but rather disagreeing, but nevertheless it always makes me feel horrible.
It's completely normal that we disagree about certain things because after all we are quite different, and I do understand her viewpoint. But still. I hate to see my little troll princess upset, especially when I've helped to cause it.
I'm also worried about her as it is, and it feels in me as an uncomfortable weight I can't just shrug off. And there's nothing I can do to help. I hate it.
And I hate that I have to feel physically horrible every time someone dear to me is feeling miserable.

Could someone please take away my ability to feel everything so bloody strongly?
It's choking me.

She will find her place and purpose in this world eventually, I know it.
But will I? I'm not so sure about that. I'm too bloody stubborn and proud and unwilling to adjust myself to what others and the society expect of me.
No one will put me in chains, ever. No one.

( Soldier of Fortune )

Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: Bob Marley and the Wailers - Buffalo Soldier

( Random thoughts about AWE, 'shipping, freedom, relationships and stuff )

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Hans Zimmer - Hoist the Colours

Sonata Arctica - The Cage

A lifetime ago, with frozen eyes they closed the door.
Suddenly I realized what locks are for.
No trusting them anymore,
Lights - are - out.

Empty the stare, innocent and unaware,
Dragged out from my home, my lair.
Earmarked me, hurt me, burned me.

The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free.

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
Go around and see another side of the tree.
Freedom has a meaning for me, howl with me.

Fear in the dark, I advise you.
Can't see the eyes, they glow behind you....
It's my song they now sing to you.
You stand no chance....

They'll kill for me, steal back my freedom,
Set me free, it's my minions versus thee.
Fiery the vengeance, hate will drain me.

The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free.

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
Go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
Run around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me, you can't tame me...

You will remember the day you crossed my path.
Leave me without a guard and you feel my wrath.
What you have done to me has made me bitter and cruel.
I'll see that all the hate you spread returns to you, you, to you...

The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free.

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
Go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
Run around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me, you can't tame me...

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
Go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
Go around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me...

Thank you, Tony.
That describes my current feelings perfectly (okay, I don't want my pack to tear anyone apart really, but...)

Current Mood: caged
Current Music: Sonata Arctica - The Cage

Last night was beautifully starlit.

I stood on the balcony and gazed into the vast indigo heavens and then, once again, looked at Sigyn floating serenely in the river looking eerie in her black-hulled glory, and dreamed of lying on the deck, rocked by gentle waves of the ocean and seeing all the stars above me whispering to me their ancient secrets, some of them already diminished long long time ago even though I can still see them twinkling brightly.
That would be freedom like nothing else.

But I believe I'm too much a coward to really dare to reach out for true freedom.
Oh the irony.

I think I must quote Lintu once again:

"Kun vain uskallat lakata pelkäämästä
Paratiisin saat takaisin."

When you only dare to stop being afraid you will get the paradise back.
That line is pure genius.

But what the hell am I talking about again?
My original intention was not to start rambling about semi-deep subjects. Guh.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to go to sleep since I have to wake up at 10 if I intend to be at school by noon. First day in the school. Weird thought.
And it can even be that after three weeks I no longer live here.
Seems like I have to take the next step soon. And find my courage.

And right now I feel ridiculous. When did I become like this?

Current Mood: ridiculous
Current Music: Goo Goo Dolls - Flat Top

Nightwish - Wanderlust

I want to see where the sirens sing
Hear how the wolves howl
Sail the dead calm waters of the Pacific

Dance in the fields of coral
Be blinded by the white
Discover the deepest jungle

I want to find The Secret Path
A bird delivered into my heart, so:

It's not the end
Not the kingdom come
It is the journey that matters, the distant wanderer
Call of the wild
In me forever and ever and ever forever
Wanderlust

I want to love by the Blue Lagoon
Kiss under the waning moon
Straying, claiming my place in this mortal coil

Riding the dolphins
Asking the mountains
Dreaming Alaska
The Earth can have but Earth

I want to find The Secret Path
A bird delivered into my heart, so:

It's not the end
Not the kingdom come
It is the journey that matters, the distant wanderer
Call of the wild
In me forever and ever and ever forever
Wanderlust

Drown into my eyes and see the wanderer
See the mirrors of a wolf behold the pathfinder...

I can't wait to do that road trip. If I can't love by the Blue Lagoon, at least I can try to find someone to kiss under a waning moon here in Finland, right? ;)
Nah, seriously... I really want to get out of here, to see some new places. Just wander around and be as free as one can be in this day and age. But I guess that won't be possible until summer. Well, at least I can go to Tampere 10.-12. of February, and hopefully to FME the next weekend.

Ah well, I should probably go to sleep. Work tomorrow.
And tomorrow I've also planned to buy at least Finntroll's Visor Om Slutet if only I can find it.
I finally found out who is who in Finntroll, by the way. :D That dark-haired Marco-wannabe wasn't Skrymer or Tundra, he was of course Routa because he played guitar... It just confused me that he didn't look at all like the fellow in the promo pics because his hair is darker now and he has that Marco-beard also Tundra had at some point. *rolleyes* Damn those trolls for being confusing. :D
And they'd better come back to Turku soon... *evil grin*

But yeah, sleepy-time now...

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Finntroll - Försvinn Du Som Lyser

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The Howling

I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.

Entries tagged with freedom

"I guess I'll always be a soldier of fortune..."

"The seas be ours and by the powers, where we will we'll roam."

The Cage

"I'll turn my head off for a while."

I want to find a secret path...

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November 2013

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