We Are The Lucky Ones?

[darnaguen]

For the past two days (well, nights really as the bloody transition to winter time completely screwed up my sleeping pattern again) I've been mostly sitting at computer and watching videos like that from YouTube and wondering if I've been missing something essential in my life for having never truly been in love, having never been involved in any kind of romantic relationship.
I have loved, and that love has made me laugh and cry, desperate and elated. My friends, my pack, they mean the whole world to me. I've had crushes and been attracted to people, been fascinated with people and felt connected to them on various levels. But I don't think I've ever been in love. I don't know if it's because I just haven't met the right person so to speak, or because I haven't allowed myself to fall in love.
Maybe a bit of both.

Maybe I have missed some valuable lessons and experiences for having not pursued the chances that I've been given but I still think that it wouldn't have felt right. And before you accuse me of being silly and naïve for expecting my one true love, the knight in the shining armor, to one day come and sweep me off my feet, let me tell you I've pretty much given up hope on ever finding a soulmate.
But I would like to one day know what it feels like to love so fiercely that it breaks your heart, to kiss someone and mean it, to be able to give and receive affection without restraints, to trust enough to give yourself completely into someone else's hands. I wish I had the courage to try.

This is a subject I'd like to write more about, but right now I'm so dizzy and tired that I'm quite unable to form coherent thoughts, let alone write them down into understandable sentences. Maybe I'll edit this later.
(And gods, this song makes me cry.)

Comments

[jupedog.livejournal.com]

Sad thing is that finding a True Love doesn't mean anything. I found mine, oh , so long ago, and she loved me, but still, world was against us with such a fierce strength that even my stubborness had to submit. Yes, I have been in love after that, so it's possible.

I've given you advice on this matter once or twice, I think. Still, just do as you feel. If you doubt your chances of finding a soulmate, just go with -a- feeling when it comes and see where it leads.

[darnaguen.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. I have learned enough of love to know that sometimes, even most of the time, even the truest of loves doesn't last forever. Well, the feeling of love may last, but not the relationship. I know that and accept that. I'm not looking for 'forever'.
To quote one of my favourite fictional people (*wink*):

"We need to be reminded sometimes that a sunrise lasts but a few minutes. But its beauty can burn in our hearts eternally."

And I also know that sometimes the person is right but the time or circumstances are wrong. Sometimes the time or circumstances are right but the person is wrong. And so on.
And as I said in a previous entry, as nice the idea of true love conquering all obstacles, it's not a very realistic one.