"There's a mending to my soul, an ending to this fear."

[darnaguen]

The previous entry was so emo I even annoyed myself.
Ergo, it's gone. I shouldn't be allowed to make LJ entries in that kind of state.

But yeah, suomigoth: The Twilight series by Stepehenie Meyer is in essence about a quite normal girl who finds herself in love with a vampire. And then there are hot and funny Native American werewolves. There are three books out so far: Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse. They're pretty good, even though they frustrate the hell out of me sometimes. :p I think you might like them, though you probably wouldn't take "my side". ;)

Anyway... As if my life isn't strange enough as it is, a couple of odd but pretty interesting new things: firstly, for a couple of days now, I've had a really strong yearning for the Northwestern USA or North America in general. Oregon or Washington, or perhaps British Columbia in Canada. Those books may of course have an influence, as they take place in the Olympic Peninsula in Washington, but it can't be the whole explanation because I have a strong, almost physical need to be there in person. It has subsided somewhat from the day before yesterday, but I can still see these flashes of snow-covered mountains and vast, ancient coniferous forests in front of me sometimes. Very odd. Sometimes a private plane would come so handy.
Another interesting thing is that a girl from the NW forum, somewhat psychic/empathic herself, had a dream of me and another of the forum empaths walking with her in a beautiful forest by a river. Yeah, there's not necessarily anything epic or supernatural about it, but it's interesting nonetheless.

(After a quite a long pause) I just spent almost an hour on phone with my mother.
She's right, I must find a way to do something about my oversensitivity. It won't do to break down on regular basis like this, whenever something is too much for me on emotional level. How can I be of any aid to others when I'm a terrible mess myself?
So: I'll have to start eating and sleeping properly, taking walks in the woods, and most importantly finding myself a some sort of balancing routine and a way of meditating. I really hope there will be a Qigong course somewhere in Turku this spring, it would be the most ideal option.

Comments

[suomigoth.livejournal.com]

I will look out for those books than in our bookstores. They indeed sounds like books I'd enjoy reading, though I'll probably will take the side of the vampires yeah *laughs*

It's funny that you mention the northern part of North America to me. Finns usually settle down in those regions when they migrate because the climate and nature is somewhat similiar to the Finnish one. My aunt lives in Brittish Columbia (if I remember right) and it really looks like wilderness starts just outside of her door when she shows pictures.

[(Anonymous)]

Are they teaching qigong in Turku these days? *amazed*
gotta get a some grip of the world outside the brigade gates, if such a thing is actually grown even a bit popular in the world around mine...

Never even heard of such a thing as a separate course for the subject. Reminded me about the fact, that haven't done such exercise in months. I should remember such an essential part of my life better these days. Well, I guess that I forgot quite much of physical and mental training while I was too busy being sick and reading Shogun.

I myself have not been introduced to qigong very well, just as a part of kung fu and tai chi (wich actually also, was a part of kung fu in thieu lam). And I have used simple qigong exercises as an method of.. hm. thing I'm grown to call as a deep meditation. In a way.. should probably open that book of qigong exercises I have on my pc and see if it has something to offer.

Your post seems to remind me a lot of myself few years back, especially about one walk in a forest, back in '05. You might like to read about it, as I mention about it in my blog.
http://kuroishin.blogspot.com/2005/09/wolfs-run.html

And feel free to wander in the older posts of my blog, as there is most likely more than a few thoughts that you might find similar to yours, at least for now.

Oh well, I hope my ponderings and babble are at least some use to you.

Be well.

-SLS

[routaneito.livejournal.com]

Nuo kirjat vaikuttavat kiinnostavilta myös minusta, pitää vissiin käydä kirjastossa. Vieläkö tunnet halua olla myös Irlannissa ja aiot mennä sinne Nightwishin keikalle? http://www.jarisiipola.com/Harjoitukset.html On nähtävästi mahdollista harrastaa qigongia Turussa.

Black

[blind-ajar.livejournal.com]

Vow, nice messy... meditate :)
I myself suck at everything except sucking onto others. Qigong is nice. Remember me? When I posted you a tarot thingy and tried some reiki.