darnaguen: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] joakimb esitti kysymyksiä, joten pitäähän niihin vastata:

1. Paras asia Turussa?

Tuhannen vuotta kulttuuria ja historiaa. Näillä kukkuloilla ovat palaneet merkkitulet merentakaisia vainolaisia vastaan, tätä jokea ylös ovat purjehtineet viikinkiveneet ja hansakauppiaat (vaikkei Turku koskaan Hansakaupunki ollutkaan). Näissä tammilehdoissa Ruotsin aateliset metsästivät ja huvittelivat, näillä turuilla ja toreilla on pidetty markkinoita ja tuomittu noitia. Näillä rannoilla on kohonnut kaksi komeaa keskiaikaista linnaa, joista toinen (Pohjoismaiden suurin harmaakivilinna) on yhä pystyssä. Tämä kaupunki oli aikoinaan Ruotsin valtakunnan toiseksi suurin ja merkittävin, täällä loisti hetken aikaa oikea mannermainen renessanssihovi, ja tänne Turun akatemian vapaaseen ilmapiiriin etsiytyi 1600- ja 1700-luvuilla joukko nykyään maailmankuuluja tiedemiehiä (Lexell, Kalm, Chydenius, Dahl, Gadolin...). Pitäköön siis Helsinki pääkaupungin asemansa. ;p
Plus Turun kesä.

2. Paras Tohtori tai paras jakso/storyline Tohtori Kenessä?

Gaah. En osaa vastata jos lähden ajattelemaan asiaa liikaa, joten sanon että rebootin ykköskauden Bad Wolf -storylinessa on jotain hyvin viehättävää.

3. Jos olisit eläin, mikä eläin olisit?

Susi on se ilmiselvä vastaus, mutta lienee minussa myös vähintään ripaus ilvestä.

4. Mikä on parasta elämässä, juuri nyt?

Kesä. On vain niin paljon vapaampi ja energisempi olo kun valoa riittää eikä kylmyys rajoita. Ja ihmiset ovat iloisempia ja aktiivisempia.

5. Mikä olisi parasta elämässä?

Olla niin vapaa ja onnellinen kuin mahdollista. Tehdä rakastamiaan asioita rakastamiensa ihmisten parissa rakastamissaan paikoissa.

6. Paras Supersankari?

Ei tuollaista sovi kysyä vanhalta X-Men -fanilta. :D Mutta jos ihan yksittäisestä sankarista puhutaan (siis sellaisesta jonka voi erottaa erinäisistä ryhmistään ja toimii ihan sellaisenaankin), olen alkanut lämmetä Iron Manille. Syytän RDJ:tä. :p

7. Mitä haluat? Kuka olet? (tarkoitettu luettavaksi B5-moodissa)

Häpeäkseni täytyy tunnustaa että olen lähestulkoon täysi B5-ummikko, joten en osaa vastata kysymykseen. :( Help?


---

Jos sitä myöhemmin saisi aikaan entryä muista viimeaikaisista pohdinnoistaan. Ja kommentoimalla saa tosiaan kysymyksiä.
darnaguen: (Default)
Tell me, why do I larp again, when I know I get anxious and control-freaky about everything and focus way too much on insignificant costuming stuff and in the process fail to absorb the materials as well as I should (why yes, larping in Finland is srs bsns)?
And that I'll probably also feel like an outsider off-game and instead of the wild drinking that usually happens pre- and after-game, just want to have quiet, deep conversation with someone in the corner - but my go-to people for that won't be present.

I’m paying 20€ for something that should be fun and relaxing break from reality, but instead brings me panic attacks and general anxiety.

Why couldn’t I just sit this one out?

(I promise I'll write more about what's been going on in my life lately (not very much, but some of that important) soon, I just needed to get this off my chest right now, and it was a good excuse to activate this thing that has been gathering dust for way too long.)
darnaguen: (Default)
 Oh, hey, new friends! Welcome! *waves*

So, what's new?
My internship at the bookstore ended at the end of December. I did fine, apparently, but not good enough to land a job there. But in any case, it was a great experience and I learned a lot. Now I'm back in school and considering my options.
I applied for a summer job at the Museum Center and am keeping my fingers crossed. Showing people around the Turku Castle or something for living would be pretty awesome (though I'd probably be stuck at the reception or something. But still.)
But I probably need to get at least a part-time job till then because study books are expensive and being piss-poor is no fun anyway. At least Tommi has a job now, though I can tell it's making him a bit miserable.

The ideal situation would be getting a job from a bookstore because depending on whether or not my six months' internship counts, I could be a graduated librist in 2 to 2,5 years. That would be much more practical than taking the long road and going through school and maybe after ten years have a some kind of minor History degree.
I mean, history is my passion and right now the bi-weekly (is that a word?) Art History classes are what's keeping me going, but I realize it's not a practical dream, at least not right now. Ah well, that's life.

---

Ugh, I was supposed to talk about the new Being Human episode, but then I got distracted by Tommi watching Sons of Anarchy on the couch behind me, and then Primeval was unexpectedly on and I've wanted to check that out for a long time. 

Tomorrow, then.
darnaguen: (Default)
 I've spent the last three days at home on sick leave (well, on Monday I worked for three hours before I had to give up).
It's a welcome (and currently much needed) break even though I've really started to enjoy my job, but I can't help feeling guilty so I can't really relax.

And what's wrong with me? I don't really know. I've suspected for a while now everything isn't quite right with me physically, but a couple of weeks ago I was getting ready to run some errands, taking my time putting on make-up and all, when I suddenly felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest right above my left breast. At first I wasn't worried, that kind of stuff probably happens occasionally to everyone. But those stabs kept on coming and I started to get scared. So I called 112 and got visited by some nice paramedics. They didn't discover anything life-threatening but told me to get the day off anyway and go see a nurse. The nurse suspected gallstones and booked me a doctor's appointment just in case, advising me to watch what I eat a bit.

The next two weeks went by quite normally, with only some discomfort , occasional random "stabs" in my torso and a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right in my abdomen.
I went to see the doctor on Friday and had blood tests and ECG taken. Her initial suspicion was that there's something wrong with my diaphragm, which would explain as all the worst stuff is focused on the left side and the "stabs" are often worse when I inhale. I'll only get the test results tomorrow so I went to work on Monday despite having been in a lot of pain over the weekend, but like I said, I lasted only three hours before I started having difficulty breathing because of the pain.

Now, I suffer from anxiety disorder so it was probably just that, the pain and stress at not knowing what's going on having triggered it. But it has effectively rendered me unable to work, which really sucks. I know, it's not my fault and I'm not just shirking my duties. But... gah. We really need every cent we can get at the moment, and I'm not paid for the days I'm not working. So, as they say in the army... SNAFU. :p
I'm just so tired all the time now, and just want to know what's wrong with me so I can deal with it and move on. *sigh*

-----

Okay, to avoid being a complete Debbie Downer, there HAS been something positive lately as well.

1.) As I said, I think I'm starting to figure things out at the bookstore. The bosses have started to trust me more and give me more responsibility. Now if I only can sort these health problems out, I think I may have a chance at getting a real part-time job there. So yay. :)

2.) I finally got around to watching North & South (BBC 2004) completely. I'd seen a part or two of it years ago when they showed it on telly, but my memories were really fuzzy. Anyway, to those of you who don't know: it''s a four-part miniseries based on the book by Elizabeth Gaskell. Its premise is similar to Pride & Prejudice with all the pride and prejudice and misunderstandings before the lovers finally get together, but it's also a hella lot darker and grittier. The setting is mostly a smoky industrial town in Northern England in the 1850s, so the Austenian Regency lightness is absent. People also get beaten up and killed and whatnot left and right.
But the leads Richard Armitage (as John Thornton) and Daniela Denby-Ashe (as Margaret Hale) are really gorgeous and amazing and have a delicious BST going on. Here, have a look:



(that's gotta be the raciest Victorian handshake between people who claim to kinda dislike each other EVER :D)

And I'm not even going to talk about the ending because you have to see it for yourself. But if you want to discuss it in the comments, you are very welcome. ;)
I can't say this about many men, but Richard Armitage does funny things to my heart. *swoon* If/when someone ever deides to film Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, I will cry foul if anyone else is chosen to play the Raven King John Uskglass.

But anyway, if you haven't yet watched it and generally like pretty period dramas etc., do watch it. It also has a really pretty score. <3

3.) I ordered the first one of the Being Human tie-in novels from work and it was awesome. There were minor glitches like Mitchell snagging blood bags to snack on from the hospital and George being Annie's go-to guy when she needs comfort (okay, it does make more sense in the timeline of the second series), but otherwise the atmosphere was really authentic and it was great to have that little extra glimpse into their lives, with all the darkness and sweetness, humor and tragedy the show has. The three books form a single storyline despite having separate settings so of course I immediately had to order the next two as well. :D

-----

Okay, I guess that was it for now. Next time I'll answer your questions, [livejournal.com profile] liduen_loivissa . :)
Just one more thing before I go, just because this song is amazing. Spoiler alert, though:
darnaguen: (being human)
My New Year's resolution, I suppose, could be: "Be more active on LJ."

I don't really even know why I haven't written anything since that latest whine about my love life in November(!!). I mean, there have been many times when I've had a whole post envisioned in my head but for some reason never got around to writing it down. You know what I mean?

But it's funny: I don't know if it's the New Year and a sort of feeling of a clean slate or what, but I have a feeling that something has changed, and I daresay in a positive way. Like I've managed to let go of some burden that has weighed heavy on my shoulders and held me back or something. Strange, really, 'cause I can't say what it is exactly.
Ah well, maybe it's just the slowly but surely increasing light. *shrug*

ETA: Oh, right. I was supposed to talk about the New Year. *facepalm* Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] korppis.
We spent it rather traditionally at Ella's family cabin in Laitila (this small rural town a bit north from Turku) by a frozen lake in the middle of the woods. Lots of awesome people, booze, SingStar, a wooden hot tub by the lake, full moon and -30 Celsius. :D
I really felt rather Finnish at one point, running from the cabin to the sauna in the snow and under the starlit sky with a bottle of alcoholic beverage in my hand, wearing only a long woolen jumper and combat boots. At least I didn't yell "Perkele!" as I went. :D It was awesome. <3

Oh! We also have a cat now. Riimu (means "rune"), Tommi's old cat, has been living with his sister for a couple of years, but now she has a boyfriend who's allergic so she decided to give her to us when we were visiting Tommi's parents over the holidays.
She's a lovely creature, especially when you compare her to the previous cat I had. It's nice to be able to walk past a cat lounging on the floor without having to fear for your ankles. xD But then, she's 7 years old already, a graceful lady and not a hotheaded teenager. Though we're considering getting her a playmate sometime soon, an orphan kitty rescued from the streets of Estonia probably. I'm determined to get my Romana. :D

(BTW, I just realized the ornament in my teaspoon resembles the Seal of Rassilon. O_o)

Being more active on LJ isn't the only thing I need to work on, though. The fourth episode of Cloud Islands is approaching and I have four characters to write. I know, it's only four, but I seem to suffer from a horrible writer's block lately. :( I mean, Ares'tes for example, I have a pretty clear vision of what he's like inside my head, but I just have no idea how to put that into words. The fact that I have to write the characters from pre-existing templates and be sure to get all the plots right makes it even harder. I guess I need to discuss that more with Ella and Janina. *sigh*

But hey: I thought I'd lost pretty much all interest towards LARP but now I'm actually looking forward to the WoD scenario in February. And Merirosvopoukama (The Pirate Cove) as well. :)

And I also need to contact Riku (my awesome career counselor) and get my backside back to the library since my only source of income at the moment is the housing allowance, which is some 56€. Yay...
And have the blood tests taken and remember to take my meds every day. This year, I will be better.

Oh, and one more thing: Being Human's second series starts on Sunday! <3<3<3
darnaguen: (monkey island)
I feel like there's so much less in my life nowadays. It's mostly my own fault, I suppose, I've given a lot up. But I miss those things.

I miss playing Werewolf: The Apocalypse. I was really fond of Maarit and the Windwalkers pack. I'm really sorry I let Aarne & co. down. I never wanted to become that kind of girlfriend (even though that's not really the whole explanation).
I miss Qigong. I really enjoyed it, and should at least practice it on my own.
I kind of miss my Nightwish fandom, even though it hasn't really been my scene in a year or so anymore. But I miss the people. I just can't handle the drama and responsibility on the forum any longer, and... I'm just not really a fan anymore.

I miss Call of Cthulhu. I miss those long walks and debates with Samuel (where are you, man?). I miss watching movies at Mervi's place and her cats (she lives in Romania now, life's funny sometimes). I miss Whisky Bar and its awesome jukebox. I miss babysitting Tommi and Knaapi when they're being drunken idiots. I miss larping the way it still was four or five years ago.

Hell, I miss having a social life of my own. This place is constantly full of people, but it just makes me feel more lonely because mostly I just feel like I'm in the way. "Oh sorry, don't mind me, I just live here.". One of the main reasons why I spend so much time at Tampere nowadays is because I barely feel like this is my home at all anymore.
And yeah, I have a boyfriend now, but I don't want him to be my entire social life. I really DON'T want to be that kind of girlfriend. *faint panicked look of a cornered animal*

Call me, poke me on Facebook, send me a message in a bottle. Ask me out for a drink, to movies, to the park or riverside to eat ice cream. I can't promise 100% to be in Turku, but if I am I promise I'll come.
I'm already looking forward to Teinigoottipiknik, thank you Venla. <3

(Oh dear God this track gives me chills. ;__; <3)
darnaguen: (lotr)
The last time I posted an update there were still leaves in the trees, green leaves even.
Now it's snowing.

What else is different?
Well...

- For the past two and a half months I've been living together with [livejournal.com profile] casanovasi (my baby sister Ella, that is) in a roomy, bohemian and comfortable if a bit drafty (but I have a fireplace in my room! <3) apartment and it's been really nice so far. No major drama yet anyway. ;p
- There's a young (well, relatively), intelligent, charismatic black democrat in the White House, for what it's worth, and it may have a major impact on the whole world as we know it. We live interesting times, that is for sure.
- I think I may kinda have a boyfriend. And, knowing me, that's a major issue. *deep sigh*

I should probably elaborate, no?
But I don't even know what to say because in 2+ weeks I still haven't figured things out myself. I mean, how did that happen? And even if I wasn't the fucked-up loony with a truckload of intimacy and commitment and what-have-you issues I am, things would be complicated.
And of course he won't listen. *sigh* So I guess we're kind of screwed.

But I suppose I'm not making any sense right now, so I'd better go to sleep or something.
Just wanted to let you kittens know I haven't vanished from the face of Earth just yet.
darnaguen: (Default)
I resigned from Paasikiviopisto today. It's a drag, yeah, but I know I made the right choice.
In addition to the money problem I wasn't really ready for that yet. on several levels. Everyone else there had probably finished high school and I guess one needs to have in order to study journalism on university level.
It's an intriguing thought, though, that I could have executed an approbatur degree in Art History this year. But there's time for that later too, for a better degree even.

So now I'm going back to AS (Adult Comprehensive School, an evening college of sorts for adults), aiming to graduate in few years and start looking for a flat for myself, and a part-time job too. I really want to put my life in order now.

I don't know if I will ever become your kick-ass rock'n'roll reporter or any journalist at all.
I have no idea what will I become, but I hope I will find the right course eventually.
Sometimes it would be so handy to have a compass like Jack's. *chuckle* But another question entirely is: is it always a good idea to follow your heart instead of your common sense?

I reckon not. *wistful smile*

EDIT: Just had to rename the entry because of the date. I've been meaning to write a poem with that title for ages, but we'll see if I ever will. Seventh of September and full moon tonight. *wry chuckle*

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